Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

If you can change something in the world, what would it be?


Besides the usual world peace and stopping world hunger idea, I don't think I'd want anything to change in the world. Except for maybe having a regulated temperature around the world, easier and faster travelling around the world, chocolate and helium would be an infinite resource (if you didn't know, it is a very limited, if not endangered, resource as of right now), people would like whatever they like without following a crowd, judgement wouldn't exist, and dinosaurs like Yoshi would exist.


If I had to say one thing that I want to change, I'd want a centre like the one in The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to exist. If you haven't watched it, it's basically a cetre where people can go in to have their "unpleasant" memories erased. I know it sounds really emo and shit, but think about it. It would make the world a much better and happier place!

Some people say some memories shouldn't be erased because you will lose a part of you. Does that even matter? To me it doesn't, because if it's erased, it means it hasn't existed, which means you don't lose anything. Do you agree? Humans are just generally made to be able to adjust, and I really don't get it when people say something like "I wouldn't know what I'd do without you". Yes, you would. You have adjusted your living situation because of that person, so if that person didn't exist, nothing would have changed, and you would still be able to live. Do you know what I mean?

So yeah, memory erasing centres, just because I want everyone to constantly be happy. I hope you're all doing fine.

Oh and happy birthday, G.

Homemade

It's very hard for me to write a post on this week's topic, not necessarily because it's about something painful, but because I know that I should let go of things I should let go off and I've been trying that, but writing this post just is just a huge reminder. Does that make sense? I hope so.

I am holding onto something. Like I said, it's not necessarily painful memory or anything, it's actually a rather joyful memory, something that I miss a lot. That's pretty much why it's something I need to let go of.

Ahh. I don't really want to talk about it. I apologize.

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Okay. You may know about this, you may not. It doesn't matter, but I really do hope that you'd respect the fact that I really wouldn't want you to talk to me about this. Ever. As this week's theme suggests, it's something I need to let go of.

I had a friend who was very important to me, and for some reason, we now no longer talk or hang out. He was someone I could turn to if I needed someone to celebrate something with, if I needed help with something, if I needed to be cheered up because of whatever reason, and especially if I was pissed off with someone. I love this friend so much especially because he was such a great bitch, that he's able to bitch about someone who's pissed me off, from head to toe, inside out, despite having never have met the person. So much love.

We spent a lot of time together a little bit over a year ago. Shopped, lunched, Gossip Girled, everything. And now thinking back, it was weird, because we had nothing in common at all. It's a mystery we ever had anything to talk about. Anyway, I really miss him and I still sometimes find it odd that his name is no longer on my recent calls/speed dial or top of my messages list.

I think that I'm pissed at him more than anything else. "Bros for life, yo". What bullshit. I think you guys already know that I take friendships seriously, so something like this means a lot to me. Why would anyone ever lie to me about this? Sure, people change, but I don't think the change has affected how our friendship should be like at all. We've never had anything to talk about, but we still managed to talk. How is being "far apart" changing that? I don't understand.

Ahh. All this talk is sounding really gay and cheesy, but I really don't mean it like that. There's no other way to say it. Some could argue that I probably like this person and therefore miss being with him, but no, I don't think so. I've thought about it, and no. I don't like him, I like being with him, genuinely as a friend. I really haven't met anyone else like him, and I don't think I ever will.

Don't get me wrong, you guys are great! I believe that I will definitely feel the same way if I, for some unexplainable reason, lose you guys as friends, but the dynamics of the relationships are different. I can't explain it, but I really do hope you understand.

If for some bizarre reason, this blog becomes famous and you happen to stumble on this blogpost and is aware that I'm talking about you: Hey, dude. What's up. You still owe me my Christmas present.

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Edward Cullen

The first time I read Twilight, not that I've read it more than once, I felt extremely sad about Edward's condition. He has to live forever. Forever. That is terrifying.

I wouldn't want to live forever. It's scary. You have live through so much pain and hurt, and I don't mean to sound emo or anything, but it's true. Yes, you'll get to have lovely memories with everyone, but no. You'll get to see your friends live and die, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Terrifying.

I don't think there is anything that could ever make me want to live forever. I don't believe in forever anyway.

Ohmygoodness. This is starting to sound like an emo sobfest, but I really do mean what I say.

$5/hour

For the past few days, I realized that I am very organized. So exciting, I know. I worked as a photographer's assistant for the past two days, and I organized the photos and worked out numbering and things. It really excited me. I like working with numbers and having a specific folder for everything and having everything symmetrical. I almost died when I saw Ashley's super messy desktop. It took a lot to stop myself from organizing everything without his permission.

I know I don't have OCD, because it's not that type of organized. I just like having categories for everything and I have a slight obsession with symmetry.

1. I categorize EVERYTHING.

If you check out my laptop, you would see that this is true. I have a separate folder for miscellaneous things that don't fit in into anything, AND I have folders to categorize those miscellaneous items, AND I have a miscellaneous folder inside that miscellaneous folder. It drives me nuts when I see files that are not in a particular folder. I categorize the fridge. It pisses me off to see condiments where the milk is supposed to be, and ham where the dairy is supposed to be. Things should be where they are supposed to be. 

Another thing is, is that I categorize friends as well. I don't have best friends. I have close friends, good friends, classmate friends, FMS friends, CWDSS friends, church friends, internet friends, etc and if you don't belong into any of those, or if you can't fit into any of those categories, it's very hard for me to consider you as a friend. Nuts, I know.

2. Everything needs to be SYMMETRICAL.

I don't just mean with things or pictures. I mean everything. Things have to be fair. It kills me to share something with someone if it's not equal. Someone in my level has to have the same punishment as I do. I need paper to be folded perfectly equal. I NEED a ruler to draw a line in the middle of a piece of paper, not to have a straight line, but to measure the width of the paper. If I draw the line, measure it, and it's not the same, it has to be done again.

So that is all. 

Goodnight.

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings.

I never really had an ideal date idea in mind. I just knew it wasn't the movie-then-dinner thing.

Yesterday, I was reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, and Augustus brought Hazel out on a date to tell her that he's bringing her to Amsterdam. So he picked her up from her place out of nowhere wearing an orange Dutch sportsman jersey carrying orange tulips (Netherlands' national flower), with more orange (Netherlands' national colour) drinks, food, things. He took her to an open museum to sit by a Dutch exhibit. Cheesy and over the top? Yes. Romantic? Not really. Adorable? I THINK SO.

Okay, I'm not saying I want a date like that, but the idea of it? Remembering the things that I like, using that concept on our date. How adorable.

I hope you all will have a very lovely Valentines day this year.

Queen of DigiLand

I have a great number of childhood memories, and they're all incredibly retarded. I was a really weird, mature child, but equally innocent.

Once, I crossed the road to buy eggs and ice cream all by myself. I was about three or four years old. What I was doing by myself then, I have no idea. I remember jaywalking, then wen I got to the store, the keeper asked me why I was alone. I can't remember what I answered. Then I jaywalked back to our house with a melting ice cream cone in hand, swinging a carton of eggs which did not fully survive the trip home. My parents saw me jaywalk from across the road, and my mom kept scolding me. I had no idea why she was so hysterical back then.

Another memory is back when I was incredibly addicted to Digimon. I watched the show on TV, and it would be the only thing I would talk about with my cousins. One day, my cousin was staying over and she told me that Mimi was real, and that she was the queen of DigiLand. Apparently, it was all real, and my cousin is one of the very few humans who could access the place. I cannot, for the life of me, understand how on earth I fell for this. My cousin was such a dick, how could she have been bestfriends with the queen of the digimons?! I initially didn't believe her, so she told me to wait for a couple of minutes and she'll ask Mimi if she could bring me into DigiLand. So I patiently waited in my room as she left to get permission from the queen. I can still remember feeling incredibly anxious. What if Mimi doesn't like me? I wouldn't be able to go see Yamato! Oh how naive I was. More than a few minutes have passed and my cousin has yet to return. I went out to search for her, in case, for some bizarre reason, she decided to lie to me about DigiLand and is hiding somewhere in the house instead. Ki searched everywhere. In every wardrobe, under every bed, behind every door, under every table, even inside and under the car, everywhere! But I couldn't find her, so I went back to my room, thinking, maybe she's still in DigiLand and Mimi needed a lot more convincing. So I waited for a few more minutes, and she came back, panting. "Hey, Mimi says she'll think about it first", she said. I just said okay.

Oh my goodness. I was such a fool. I love that memory though. I miss thinking and believing that anything and everything was possible.

But I think now, we all believe that that is not very true.

I AM A ONE TAKE WONDER

I listen to bands that don't even exist yet.

I am competitive.

Who figured, right? I'm not particularly competitive with sports or studies or anything like that. It's more of like the little things.

Sometimes I get a bit too pretentious regarding certain things and I get really competitive when I'm having a conversation with people. I would always think that what I know is right, or my ideas are better. I know that I am extremely competitive when it comes to music. When people say that a band that I like suck, when I believe it's genuinely good, oh damn. You better have a shovel, cos I will make you dig your own grave. Or sometimes there will be people who are even more of a pretentious douchebag then I am and talk about how incredibly underground their iTunes library is, I will make sure that that person will lose sight of what "obscure"  actually means.

Those sentences made so much more sense in my head, but I think you guys know what I mean.

I'm also incredibly competitive when it comes to arguments. Some people say that I could be a lawyer, because of this. I guess it's just a pride thing, and I'm not particularly proud of it. It could be a good thing if I believe that it's right, but sometimes, it gets to a point where I know that I am wrong, but I still refuse to admit it, because I am competitive.

Humans are such weird beings.

What is this "school" of which you speak of?

I don't really hate school.

I hate school because

• I have to wake up in the morning
• I have to go to school even though I'm not learning anything
• I have to take so long to travel even though my place isn't particularly far from school itself
• I have to take modules that are not related to what I want to learn
• I have to conform into this thing that my teachers want me to be
• Crowded cafeteria
• I need to climb a hill to get to my block
• There are a couple of modules where I need to be in school to get work done

Besides that, school's been fine. I hope school's been fine for you too.

Goodnight.

Hold On

I've never really thought about my insecurities. I've had a number of people come up to me and tell me, "Liza, I'm quite jealous of you. You're like, ok no offense, but you're like big-sized, but you're confident and you don't seem like you have any insecurities". I think it's true, but not true.

I know that I have insecurities, but I'm honestly not that aware of what they actually are. After thinking for awhile, I think one of my insecurities is being left behind. Not in a OMGZFOREVERALONE way, but in a losing out kind of way. Like I don't want to miss a party, because I don't like missing out on a joke. Or I don't want to miss a group meeting, because I don't want people to finalize details without being able to give my own opinion. Do you get what I mean? Yeah.

I try not to get this insecurity get the best of me, like force myself to go for all these things just because I don't want to be left behind, because I think it's really ridiculous. It doesn't make sense to keep thinking that way. It's just mentally and physically exhausting.

So that is all.

I've done nothing, but rot in my bed and throw money (that isn't even officially mine) to companies who are sadly very willing to accept them. I've gotten books, a pair of sports shoes, an oversized jumper, a Wacom Bamboo Pen tablet, and I'm still want to get my Twin Reflex Camera, flatforms and Settle The Kettle CD by 53A. Oh the material lusts for things and things.

I've been good. I hope you're all good as well.

Goodnight.

Super 8

I think everyone here knows what I want to be when I grow up. Film-making. I've talked about it so many times on blogs and other stuff, I don't really have anything else to say. Well, I guess they type of films I want to make are like short films or music videos like how Wong Fu Productions or Strawburry17. If you guys don't know who they are, I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED. GO LOOK THEM UP ON YOUTUBE. Anyway, all the Singaporeans I  personally know are pursuing wedding videography and I will never understand the appeal of that. It's just not something that I'd want to do.

To work on this whole film-making thing, I'm planning to save up and build up my gear before I move to Los Angeles in a couple of years.

THINGS (I THINK I) NEED:

1. Pocketpod or The Folding Tripod
2. Fisheye Lens Adaptor
3. Canon 50mm f/1.8 lens
4. Some sort of proper lighting. Either an external flash with a ring light adaptor or soft boxes.

Oh my lust for these things.

Anyway, last post on this blog for this year. Happy New Year.

Boo. You whore.

#nowrapelaying Forever Yours - Alex Day

Rapelaying = raping the replay button


You guys probably already know that my all time favourite movie is Mean Girls (2004). I can't really say anything else about it. I'm sure you all know why I love it, and I'm sure you all love it as well.

Another movie that I recently promoted to number two on my list is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Forever awkward Michael Cera, forever kickass Mary Elizabeth Winstead, 8-bit everywhere, video games. What more could Liza want. I plan to own at least two of the graphic novels from the series by the end of next year!

If you guys haven't watched either of those movies, I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU I DON'T BELIEVE THAT WE ARE FRIENDS. Also, you should watch those movies.

The Best Thing I Never Had

Hi,

This week's theme is "Hardest thing I've ever been through". I have quite a number of inappropriate jokes in mind, but I shall keep it to myself.

Nothing really comes to mind when I think of this week's theme. I guess the only thing that I could come up with at the moment was when I was about seven or eight years old. I had just moved from Pasay City to Cavite City and I didn't know anyone in my neighbourhood. Making friends was okay, easy for a kid who grew up in Philippines' little Essex, but the hard part was when I had started going to school.

I went to school with my cousin, who was also my best friend at the time, and she was the only person I knew in that school. It was a pretty small school and everyone knew everyone because it was a small neighbourhood and everyone grew up together. Basically, everyone started going to that school since preschool, so everyone were pretty close with one another, and there I was. This city kid, getting thrown into the deep end of a "provincial" city.

It was hard, I think, because I was the "ugly" cousin. I was the fat, unsporty, untalented, lazy, stupid cousin. despite the fact that I'm almost two years ahead of everyone else, I was still regarded as less smart than my cousin. Then I got thrown in with her group of friends, and we'd always be compared with each other, and I'll always be on the bad side. "Why don't you make friends with other people", you ask. Well, I can't. There are no "other people" since our school really is THAT small.

Don't get me wrong. I don't blame her for what I went through during that time. I am very proud of her and what she has accomplished, and I still love her to bits. I guess it was just really annoying and sad that I had to grow up being connected and compared to this other person, not being able to make my own name.

I hope this makes sense.

In other news,

I'm flying off for the Philippines on Friday! I'm not really excited, but I'm not exactly dreading it either. I guess it's just a thing that is happening for me. I just hope that I'd be able to get at least a bit of work done while I'm there so I won't drown in homework when I get back.

School's been pretty hectic as usual, especially this week. I've got tonnes of work to do, just for this one module, which is 2D Animation. I actually really enjoy the module, but the thing is, is that it is SUPER time consuming! And it's not something that I can easily do at home, because I need the light box and animation plate, and the Animation room is only open on weekdays 9am-6pm, when there are no classes. Ahhh. Hectic week is very hectic.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing fine! Enjoy Christmas in Singapore.

Muchos love.

Chivas

Hi,

I like guy named Theodore. Well, I don't really like like him, if you know what I mean, but I guess he's the most like you'll get out of me.

I'm not too sure why I like him though. He's not attractive as he used to be, he smokes, he seems incredibly pretentious, and he's gay. And not like effeminate gay, he's a manly gay, but he's like gay. Like homosexually. It's weird, but he's so interesting! I just want to keep reading about his life.

I really don't have anything else to say about this week's theme, so let's go on to the updates.

Nothing much is up, just the usual schoolwork. I thank God so much that hell week is over. Now I only have a few projects left to do before I leave for Philippines, and I am enjoying my work. I am itching to shop and go out and chillax before I leave though, so hit me up!

I need to film my whoneedsplanes video now, because I'll be busy as balls tomorrow. In case you didn't know, I have a collab channel on Youtube and you guys should support and subscribe! SHAMELESS PLUG, WHOOHOO. Anyway, it's at youtube.com/whoneedsplanes

Goodnight.

Fall Out Boy, Sugarcult, and Dashboard Confessional [2.1]

Hullo,

I'm incredibly busy this week, and I just know that I definitely wouldn't have time to write this post on wednesday itself, so I'm gonna procrastinate on my work right now, and start on this week's post!

So this week's theme is Favourite Band.

The thought of picking out my favourite band is daunting to me. I listen to a pretty wide variety of music, so it's pretty hard for me to just decide on one band, so I'll give you my top three.

Fall Out Boy.
I have no idea when or how I started listening to Fall Out Boy, but I love them. I still can't decide whether I prefer their newer albums than the old ones, but I definitely know that I can listen to any of them at any given time. Their songs just seem like the type who can fill up any mood, if you know what I mean. It hurts to think that the band has pretty much fell out, and boy, am I left with an empty feeling inside knowing that I'll probably never get to hear them together live ever again. Nevertheless, I'll forever love their kickass songs which both make sense and fail to make sense at the same time.

Sugarcult.
Now this band was introduced to me by my friend, Ben, and I have loved them from the moment I heard the intro of the song, Memory. Hardcore beats mixed with ridiculous, yet meaningful lyrics, and you get Sugarcult! I just love how they can sing about sex and whatnot, without sounding raunchy, but still be able to have decent Ballad-ish songs in the same album.

Dashboard Confessional.
This is probably the band that I have known the longest. It was introduced to me by my friend, Kian, and to be honest, I'm not sure why I like it. Some of the lyrics are ridiculous and their performances isn't the best, but I like them. I like their songs, and I can listen to them any time. It's just one of those bands that just gets me, I guess.

Fall Out Boy - Sophomore Slump or Comeback Of The Year

Sugarcult - Shaking

Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down

LocProd [1.1]

Good evening, guys.

I've seen you guys around at least once over the past week, but not all together! We need to hang out all together soon.

Anyway, I've been doing pretty good. School has been extremely tiring and stressful lately, but I'm still alive. I've been pretty broke, but thanks to a lovely coin bank one of you gave me for my birthday, I am slowly saving money! I am rather proud of myself.

I've been having a lot of ideas for projects lately, but I haven't had the time to do anything. I recently started a collab channel and I already missed one week cos I haven't had the time to film. Speaking of film, I'm the director for my Location Production assignment and it was fun! I hope things turn out as well as I hope. I also want to film more short films. I haven't had the time to write or even plan anything, so Dinner In Bed is on hold. I still have a lot more projects in mind, but I haven't had the time to even plan any of them. Hopefully, I'll get to do so by the end of this semester.

I really don't know what else to say since I've been blogging about my life on my own blog. Hahaha. I hope you guys are all doing fine!

Muchos love.