Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

If you can change something in the world, what would it be?


Besides the usual world peace and stopping world hunger idea, I don't think I'd want anything to change in the world. Except for maybe having a regulated temperature around the world, easier and faster travelling around the world, chocolate and helium would be an infinite resource (if you didn't know, it is a very limited, if not endangered, resource as of right now), people would like whatever they like without following a crowd, judgement wouldn't exist, and dinosaurs like Yoshi would exist.


If I had to say one thing that I want to change, I'd want a centre like the one in The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to exist. If you haven't watched it, it's basically a cetre where people can go in to have their "unpleasant" memories erased. I know it sounds really emo and shit, but think about it. It would make the world a much better and happier place!

Some people say some memories shouldn't be erased because you will lose a part of you. Does that even matter? To me it doesn't, because if it's erased, it means it hasn't existed, which means you don't lose anything. Do you agree? Humans are just generally made to be able to adjust, and I really don't get it when people say something like "I wouldn't know what I'd do without you". Yes, you would. You have adjusted your living situation because of that person, so if that person didn't exist, nothing would have changed, and you would still be able to live. Do you know what I mean?

So yeah, memory erasing centres, just because I want everyone to constantly be happy. I hope you're all doing fine.

Oh and happy birthday, G.

This theme has emotions in it. It's weird.

Hi guys. I can't sleep.

Sorry this took a while. Was waiting for Grace to post.

I might as well take this time to write mine since I'm feeling sentimental~

I thought about it long and hard and the answer is no, not really. I am holding on to something. Memories. Good and bad, but they're not something I want to let go of. I was holding on to a hope that everything would just fix itself and everything would go back to the way it was. I was holding on to the idea that maybe one day, I would have my friend back.. Just the way I've always known him to be and everything would be right with the world. I can honestly say I've let go of those. I've long since accepted that he's a different person now, and that even if we both want to, there's no turning back. It will never be the same as before. That was sucky. For a while. But you learn to move on, ya know? You just learn to get used to change. I was angry, hurt and confused all at once. Now, I'm just... Indifferent. Like I don't feel strongly about it anymore. It no longer affects me. Maybe when I ended the friendship, I was overreacting, but there hasn't come a time where I regretted what I did. I remember just wanting everything to stop. I wanted to be completely rid of the drama. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore cos all it does it piss me off.

I'm not saying I've forgotten everything. I am holding on to memories, like I said. I miss the good times, but I'm not saying that I want them back. I'm not saying that I don't want them back either. I just don't really care much..

The reason why I don't want to let go of the memories is they don't hurt me when I remember. And the bad memories, as cliche as it sounds, sort of reminds me to be more careful and guarded.. And to not make a fool of myself ever again.

That last pinkie, still holding on.

I'm sorry, i'm not intentionally trying to turn this into a sob story but this is all that i really need to let go of. (Apart from how shitty my GPA is,despite all the hard-work) On a brighter note, I don't think i've gotten the chance to tell you guys how i'm really faring on the emotional level of things.

Brace yourself for the horror and disappointments!

I'd like to think that i'm not holding onto anything that i should have let go long ago. Unfortunately that will be lying to myself and you guys. I've not completely let go of it but i really am learning to and on the verge of success.
I hate how the slightest reminder; a hint of scent or a glimpse of a picture, can trigger the memories.
Initially, i couldn't sleep at all because every time i shut my eyes, the nightmares come back; i would dream of him. There were dreams of me losing him in the dream only to realise that i already lost him in reality when  i wake up. There were also times where i'd be dreaming of the happy times but totally conscious of what has happened in reality. I didn't even know that was possible! Lately, i dreamt that he was cursed to become bodyless (yes, flying head) to haunt and kill me and only me. He was only too gleeful to accept the curse. Another time, he was trying to reconcile. I can't decide which is worse.
Insomnia soon embrace me like a long lost friend.
It's like my subconscious is trying to save me from the pain by letting in insomnia. How thoughtful of me!

Doesn't it all sound like some cheesy break-up story?haha
Well, i'm trying to let go and get over it. I started out by deleting and throwing away stuff of course. Once the physical reminders are gone, i have to conquer the emotional grounds. The keyword was REPLACEMENT. Before you get me wrong,i meant it in the sense of replacing those used-to-be-happy memories with even happier memories with other people. I think i've covered almost 90% of it. The other 10% may or may not be overcome but i guess one can never really let go of something that once meant a lot to you no matter how hard you may try. Like hot iron, it's been branded permanently in your mind.

However, "so dawn goes down to day...nothing gold can stay."

And that my dear friends, is the end of this sob story. I hope i've at least made one of you tear, a little or mentally teared.
Oh well, this and that, is life.

xoxo,
T

Homemade

It's very hard for me to write a post on this week's topic, not necessarily because it's about something painful, but because I know that I should let go of things I should let go off and I've been trying that, but writing this post just is just a huge reminder. Does that make sense? I hope so.

I am holding onto something. Like I said, it's not necessarily painful memory or anything, it's actually a rather joyful memory, something that I miss a lot. That's pretty much why it's something I need to let go of.

Ahh. I don't really want to talk about it. I apologize.

|edit|

Okay. You may know about this, you may not. It doesn't matter, but I really do hope that you'd respect the fact that I really wouldn't want you to talk to me about this. Ever. As this week's theme suggests, it's something I need to let go of.

I had a friend who was very important to me, and for some reason, we now no longer talk or hang out. He was someone I could turn to if I needed someone to celebrate something with, if I needed help with something, if I needed to be cheered up because of whatever reason, and especially if I was pissed off with someone. I love this friend so much especially because he was such a great bitch, that he's able to bitch about someone who's pissed me off, from head to toe, inside out, despite having never have met the person. So much love.

We spent a lot of time together a little bit over a year ago. Shopped, lunched, Gossip Girled, everything. And now thinking back, it was weird, because we had nothing in common at all. It's a mystery we ever had anything to talk about. Anyway, I really miss him and I still sometimes find it odd that his name is no longer on my recent calls/speed dial or top of my messages list.

I think that I'm pissed at him more than anything else. "Bros for life, yo". What bullshit. I think you guys already know that I take friendships seriously, so something like this means a lot to me. Why would anyone ever lie to me about this? Sure, people change, but I don't think the change has affected how our friendship should be like at all. We've never had anything to talk about, but we still managed to talk. How is being "far apart" changing that? I don't understand.

Ahh. All this talk is sounding really gay and cheesy, but I really don't mean it like that. There's no other way to say it. Some could argue that I probably like this person and therefore miss being with him, but no, I don't think so. I've thought about it, and no. I don't like him, I like being with him, genuinely as a friend. I really haven't met anyone else like him, and I don't think I ever will.

Don't get me wrong, you guys are great! I believe that I will definitely feel the same way if I, for some unexplainable reason, lose you guys as friends, but the dynamics of the relationships are different. I can't explain it, but I really do hope you understand.

If for some bizarre reason, this blog becomes famous and you happen to stumble on this blogpost and is aware that I'm talking about you: Hey, dude. What's up. You still owe me my Christmas present.

|edit|

Poopie C:

Hi guys! I'm so sry about the lateness! I was in Thailand then,hah. Anyway, people either tell me I'm like 15 or 19. I have no idea how the big age gap happened hahaha.. Sorry about the colours getting all wonky, blogger's pretty screwed on the pad. But lately, they say I pass of maximum a 20. Around 17-20 if I wear better clothes, and 15-16 if I wear some kiddy tee. Hahaa. So the appearance of my age really depends on what I wear. I think I have the maturity of a 17 year old, maybe a little more ( unlike some reckless punk or some pumped up kid lol) so yeah. I am mature at times and immature at other times. Like times with you guys :)

G

6 going on 16

Me: Mommyyyyy where's Ruff? You took him didn't you?
Mom: No i didnt't. He's probably stuck somewhere in your bed.
Me: Help me find it pleaseeee.
Mom: NO.
Me: *Rolling on the floor whining*

I think i'm still 16. Yes 16 and not 6. HAHA. It's only minus the one when i'm with my mom.
I'm still into fan-mail writing. I was just about to write a mail for Travis by passing it to We The In Crowd but....yeah...I forgot.
Er, yes, that's the only justification i could give. I can't think of anything more.
Sorry for the lateness again!

xoxo
T

I'm 69.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words.

Can you imagine having that phobia and IM-ing with someone who keeps using long words?

YOU: please don't use long words
THEM: why not?
YOU: because I have hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.
YOU: OH NO! D:

Hahaha. Oh my God, never mind.

Anyway, onto the topic. I think I'll be 19-21. I'm able to make mature decisions yet I still haven't matured past to the point where I won't laugh at any sexual innuendo. Like on a maturity scale of 1-100, I'm probably at 69. ;)

I listen to bands like All Time Low, Mayday Parade, The Maine, WATIC.. But my all time favourite song is Goo Goo Dolls' Iris. I don't read biographies except for Steve Jobs'. I enjoy thought provoking movies with humour. I'm not into the whole magical love/relationship thing (I've outgrown that phase, thank God). I'm, a bit of a realist, I don't really believe unless I've seen enough proof that it exist/is true. I don't mindlessly follow something just because everyone else is doing it. I'm not really sure what constitutes as mature but I guess 19-21 is a pretty good place.

So yeah, I'm pretty mature. I never stick my tongue out at my enemies anymore or tell them they're not allowed to walk past where I live like I used to do whenever someone's being a meanie to me. Haha. No, really. I'm made mistakes but I've also made decisions I'm pretty proud of. I care about what other people would think whenever I do something. I think people who keep saying they don't care what everyone thinks are either fucking assholes or liars.