HIATUS

We are having a self-declared hiatus. Self-declared by me. It's not like we post regularly anyway.

We're in the middle of the horrible hell-week(s) of school, and none of us has the time to update this blog.

I'm sure we'll make a come back soon.

Enjoy life.

Simpleton

If i have the ability to change something in the world, i think i would turn back time and stop globalisation and the use of money.

Ever stopped for a moment and wondered what life would be like if your "world" constituted a much smaller scale of people, land etc? What your life would be like if you don't need money for anything but maintained the barter system?
Was it necessary for the world to evolve and expand to how it is today?

There are two terms that have always intrigued me; "need" and "want". Was there a need for the world to evolve to the current extent?
If one hasn't experience something beyond the current, then one would hardly be yearning for more or be missing out on anything right?

Maybe it's just me..I'm just like spamming my thoughts out but i really think life would be much simpler if it was...well...simple.

Hope you guys have a slacker week than me.TC!

xoxo,
T

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

If you can change something in the world, what would it be?


Besides the usual world peace and stopping world hunger idea, I don't think I'd want anything to change in the world. Except for maybe having a regulated temperature around the world, easier and faster travelling around the world, chocolate and helium would be an infinite resource (if you didn't know, it is a very limited, if not endangered, resource as of right now), people would like whatever they like without following a crowd, judgement wouldn't exist, and dinosaurs like Yoshi would exist.


If I had to say one thing that I want to change, I'd want a centre like the one in The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to exist. If you haven't watched it, it's basically a cetre where people can go in to have their "unpleasant" memories erased. I know it sounds really emo and shit, but think about it. It would make the world a much better and happier place!

Some people say some memories shouldn't be erased because you will lose a part of you. Does that even matter? To me it doesn't, because if it's erased, it means it hasn't existed, which means you don't lose anything. Do you agree? Humans are just generally made to be able to adjust, and I really don't get it when people say something like "I wouldn't know what I'd do without you". Yes, you would. You have adjusted your living situation because of that person, so if that person didn't exist, nothing would have changed, and you would still be able to live. Do you know what I mean?

So yeah, memory erasing centres, just because I want everyone to constantly be happy. I hope you're all doing fine.

Oh and happy birthday, G.

This theme has emotions in it. It's weird.

Hi guys. I can't sleep.

Sorry this took a while. Was waiting for Grace to post.

I might as well take this time to write mine since I'm feeling sentimental~

I thought about it long and hard and the answer is no, not really. I am holding on to something. Memories. Good and bad, but they're not something I want to let go of. I was holding on to a hope that everything would just fix itself and everything would go back to the way it was. I was holding on to the idea that maybe one day, I would have my friend back.. Just the way I've always known him to be and everything would be right with the world. I can honestly say I've let go of those. I've long since accepted that he's a different person now, and that even if we both want to, there's no turning back. It will never be the same as before. That was sucky. For a while. But you learn to move on, ya know? You just learn to get used to change. I was angry, hurt and confused all at once. Now, I'm just... Indifferent. Like I don't feel strongly about it anymore. It no longer affects me. Maybe when I ended the friendship, I was overreacting, but there hasn't come a time where I regretted what I did. I remember just wanting everything to stop. I wanted to be completely rid of the drama. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore cos all it does it piss me off.

I'm not saying I've forgotten everything. I am holding on to memories, like I said. I miss the good times, but I'm not saying that I want them back. I'm not saying that I don't want them back either. I just don't really care much..

The reason why I don't want to let go of the memories is they don't hurt me when I remember. And the bad memories, as cliche as it sounds, sort of reminds me to be more careful and guarded.. And to not make a fool of myself ever again.

That last pinkie, still holding on.

I'm sorry, i'm not intentionally trying to turn this into a sob story but this is all that i really need to let go of. (Apart from how shitty my GPA is,despite all the hard-work) On a brighter note, I don't think i've gotten the chance to tell you guys how i'm really faring on the emotional level of things.

Brace yourself for the horror and disappointments!

I'd like to think that i'm not holding onto anything that i should have let go long ago. Unfortunately that will be lying to myself and you guys. I've not completely let go of it but i really am learning to and on the verge of success.
I hate how the slightest reminder; a hint of scent or a glimpse of a picture, can trigger the memories.
Initially, i couldn't sleep at all because every time i shut my eyes, the nightmares come back; i would dream of him. There were dreams of me losing him in the dream only to realise that i already lost him in reality when  i wake up. There were also times where i'd be dreaming of the happy times but totally conscious of what has happened in reality. I didn't even know that was possible! Lately, i dreamt that he was cursed to become bodyless (yes, flying head) to haunt and kill me and only me. He was only too gleeful to accept the curse. Another time, he was trying to reconcile. I can't decide which is worse.
Insomnia soon embrace me like a long lost friend.
It's like my subconscious is trying to save me from the pain by letting in insomnia. How thoughtful of me!

Doesn't it all sound like some cheesy break-up story?haha
Well, i'm trying to let go and get over it. I started out by deleting and throwing away stuff of course. Once the physical reminders are gone, i have to conquer the emotional grounds. The keyword was REPLACEMENT. Before you get me wrong,i meant it in the sense of replacing those used-to-be-happy memories with even happier memories with other people. I think i've covered almost 90% of it. The other 10% may or may not be overcome but i guess one can never really let go of something that once meant a lot to you no matter how hard you may try. Like hot iron, it's been branded permanently in your mind.

However, "so dawn goes down to day...nothing gold can stay."

And that my dear friends, is the end of this sob story. I hope i've at least made one of you tear, a little or mentally teared.
Oh well, this and that, is life.

xoxo,
T

Homemade

It's very hard for me to write a post on this week's topic, not necessarily because it's about something painful, but because I know that I should let go of things I should let go off and I've been trying that, but writing this post just is just a huge reminder. Does that make sense? I hope so.

I am holding onto something. Like I said, it's not necessarily painful memory or anything, it's actually a rather joyful memory, something that I miss a lot. That's pretty much why it's something I need to let go of.

Ahh. I don't really want to talk about it. I apologize.

|edit|

Okay. You may know about this, you may not. It doesn't matter, but I really do hope that you'd respect the fact that I really wouldn't want you to talk to me about this. Ever. As this week's theme suggests, it's something I need to let go of.

I had a friend who was very important to me, and for some reason, we now no longer talk or hang out. He was someone I could turn to if I needed someone to celebrate something with, if I needed help with something, if I needed to be cheered up because of whatever reason, and especially if I was pissed off with someone. I love this friend so much especially because he was such a great bitch, that he's able to bitch about someone who's pissed me off, from head to toe, inside out, despite having never have met the person. So much love.

We spent a lot of time together a little bit over a year ago. Shopped, lunched, Gossip Girled, everything. And now thinking back, it was weird, because we had nothing in common at all. It's a mystery we ever had anything to talk about. Anyway, I really miss him and I still sometimes find it odd that his name is no longer on my recent calls/speed dial or top of my messages list.

I think that I'm pissed at him more than anything else. "Bros for life, yo". What bullshit. I think you guys already know that I take friendships seriously, so something like this means a lot to me. Why would anyone ever lie to me about this? Sure, people change, but I don't think the change has affected how our friendship should be like at all. We've never had anything to talk about, but we still managed to talk. How is being "far apart" changing that? I don't understand.

Ahh. All this talk is sounding really gay and cheesy, but I really don't mean it like that. There's no other way to say it. Some could argue that I probably like this person and therefore miss being with him, but no, I don't think so. I've thought about it, and no. I don't like him, I like being with him, genuinely as a friend. I really haven't met anyone else like him, and I don't think I ever will.

Don't get me wrong, you guys are great! I believe that I will definitely feel the same way if I, for some unexplainable reason, lose you guys as friends, but the dynamics of the relationships are different. I can't explain it, but I really do hope you understand.

If for some bizarre reason, this blog becomes famous and you happen to stumble on this blogpost and is aware that I'm talking about you: Hey, dude. What's up. You still owe me my Christmas present.

|edit|

Poopie C:

Hi guys! I'm so sry about the lateness! I was in Thailand then,hah. Anyway, people either tell me I'm like 15 or 19. I have no idea how the big age gap happened hahaha.. Sorry about the colours getting all wonky, blogger's pretty screwed on the pad. But lately, they say I pass of maximum a 20. Around 17-20 if I wear better clothes, and 15-16 if I wear some kiddy tee. Hahaa. So the appearance of my age really depends on what I wear. I think I have the maturity of a 17 year old, maybe a little more ( unlike some reckless punk or some pumped up kid lol) so yeah. I am mature at times and immature at other times. Like times with you guys :)

G

6 going on 16

Me: Mommyyyyy where's Ruff? You took him didn't you?
Mom: No i didnt't. He's probably stuck somewhere in your bed.
Me: Help me find it pleaseeee.
Mom: NO.
Me: *Rolling on the floor whining*

I think i'm still 16. Yes 16 and not 6. HAHA. It's only minus the one when i'm with my mom.
I'm still into fan-mail writing. I was just about to write a mail for Travis by passing it to We The In Crowd but....yeah...I forgot.
Er, yes, that's the only justification i could give. I can't think of anything more.
Sorry for the lateness again!

xoxo
T

I'm 69.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words.

Can you imagine having that phobia and IM-ing with someone who keeps using long words?

YOU: please don't use long words
THEM: why not?
YOU: because I have hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.
YOU: OH NO! D:

Hahaha. Oh my God, never mind.

Anyway, onto the topic. I think I'll be 19-21. I'm able to make mature decisions yet I still haven't matured past to the point where I won't laugh at any sexual innuendo. Like on a maturity scale of 1-100, I'm probably at 69. ;)

I listen to bands like All Time Low, Mayday Parade, The Maine, WATIC.. But my all time favourite song is Goo Goo Dolls' Iris. I don't read biographies except for Steve Jobs'. I enjoy thought provoking movies with humour. I'm not into the whole magical love/relationship thing (I've outgrown that phase, thank God). I'm, a bit of a realist, I don't really believe unless I've seen enough proof that it exist/is true. I don't mindlessly follow something just because everyone else is doing it. I'm not really sure what constitutes as mature but I guess 19-21 is a pretty good place.

So yeah, I'm pretty mature. I never stick my tongue out at my enemies anymore or tell them they're not allowed to walk past where I live like I used to do whenever someone's being a meanie to me. Haha. No, really. I'm made mistakes but I've also made decisions I'm pretty proud of. I care about what other people would think whenever I do something. I think people who keep saying they don't care what everyone thinks are either fucking assholes or liars.

16 minutes on the clock.

Hi.

I am turning 19 years old this year. If I didn't know how old I was, I think I'd still be 19. I am mature enough to think like an adult, but young enough to act like a kid. 

Despite how I act with good friends, I'd like to think that I am pretty mature. I can handle myself pretty well in formal/business situations, I manage to come up with ideas for situation that are pretty reasonable and long-lasting. I may not show it, but I really do think that I am rather mature, even more so for my age. Ohmygoodness, I sound like a pretentious prick.


I am aware that I'm still fairly immature though. I still laugh at poop and that's-what-she-said jokes, and I would much rather watch Spongebob Squarepants than Titanic. I'm not sure if that's what constitutes as immature, but it sure doesn't constitue being mature.


So yeah. I am 19, and I think I'd still be 19 if I didn't know how old I was. The youngest, maybe 16. Oldest, 20. I am physically old, but mentally young, and actively young, but thoughtfully old. Interesting.

Hey guys! I am typing and blogging on my new iPad! Yayyyyy :D my mum got one for me. Happy~ :) lol and I'm sorry if I've delayed it. I was out most of the time. Anyway! Back to topic.

Don't think I'll wanna live forever... Maybe more than a hundred years if i get to keep my youth, but not forever. Think of how sad it would be to see your friends die one by one... Maybe after awhile it'll seem normal. Heh. Death, normal. It is pretty normal. But I wouldn't wanna get used to it.

Now,if I had the chance to live more than a hundred while retaining my youth, I'd probably travel or do whatever I want with the extra time or life I have. Ok, and let's say I'm given this gift of immortality. I'd probably spend it travelling and living, you know? I'll take my time doing things and being very very good at it. I'll be a director in this era, and maybe a painter in another. People would call me a genius. But if secret's let out that I'm immortal, I'd die anyway. People would try to kill me, the government would probably do millions of tests on me... I'd be some freak show. Like the beard lady, but even cooler. Eventually, I'd just...you know... Die.

If you ask me if I believe in forever, I'd say no. But eternity, yes.

4EVER.

Hi y'all. It doesn't look like Grace is gonna be posting so lucky for you, here I am. :)

Forever. Such a pretty word. I actually hate that word.

Cliche as it sounds, it's never true. It's thrown around like it means nothing. "We're forever", "best friends forever", "forever and always". I guess forever is nothing but the longest possible duration for something. It can vary from a day to a  few years or maybe even a century, it's relative. Some forever are short, some are long.. but one thing about it, is it always ends.

Taking that forever is endless, it has its few perks. Given that time period, we can assume that you'll get to be a very rich person. You'll be wise with years and experience. However, you'll be watching the world change and you'll be subjected to constant loss. You'll lose your family and the new friends you'll be making. You'll lose interest in life.

I'm not planning on living for very long. Maybe until I'm 40. No kidding. I don't wanna see myself slowly deteriorating and relying too much on other people. I wanna leave on my own terms. So no forever for me, thanks so much.

Also, old age is such a privilege and it's denied to some people. I guess I'll be thankful to have it, but I'd rather not. There's not much life has to offer anyway.

For EVER is too much for one.

Forever is immeasurable unless when defined in the cliche term, "forever is when i'm with you."

To me, i don't think i'd be able to stand living forever. I mean one just has to die to actually continue the cycle, in a sense, ironically. To stay alive forever sounds really boring. If only one can decide when they want to die. As in, not to live forever but not to say one can't die either. There's only so much to live for. It's just that when you reach a point of time in life; when you've experienced all the excitement life has to offer and decide that you're satisfied and willing to die, you can. That's called dying, giving up your life willingly knowing that you've fulfilled your goals. When diseases consume you or when accidents happen, I'd term that as robbery. Fate robbing your life and not dying.

In short, i wouldn't want to live forever per se but rather have control of when i would like to die. Even if i may be too scared to die I'm sure i wouldn't prefer the idea of living forever alone over it either. I think. One really can't be sure till you've actually reached the bridge.

xoxo

T.

Edward Cullen

The first time I read Twilight, not that I've read it more than once, I felt extremely sad about Edward's condition. He has to live forever. Forever. That is terrifying.

I wouldn't want to live forever. It's scary. You have live through so much pain and hurt, and I don't mean to sound emo or anything, but it's true. Yes, you'll get to have lovely memories with everyone, but no. You'll get to see your friends live and die, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Terrifying.

I don't think there is anything that could ever make me want to live forever. I don't believe in forever anyway.

Ohmygoodness. This is starting to sound like an emo sobfest, but I really do mean what I say.

Chris.

It was 2 nights ago when I was watching Skins season 2 and my favourite character died. I teared up quite a bit.

Life related? Probably a month ago. Fucking bawled my eyes out and went to school the next day with massive eyebags and swollen lids. Fun.

Tata.

,,,,, tear drops in a singular file.

The last time I cried was actually yesterday. LOL Stany and I had a really really really huge fight (biggest one yet I think) and then I cried. (I think im PMSing lol)

and then he hugged me and said sorry and made it all better.

:)

xo fish head bee hoon

G

Ps: L, it's time we made you remember. Muahahaha...

Cry for the moment. Ridicule the memory.

The best way to conceal tears is under the rain.

The last time i cried was ridiculous. It was like a scene out of a tragic romance story. Passers-by probably searched around for a camera crew or wished they whipped out their camera phones to document it. I would have probably ended up on Facebook walls or even on Stomp.At that time it was uncontrollable. Now as i look back, i'm ridiculed by my actions and a sense of regret is niggling at me.
With that being said, we've come to the end of my post.

xoxo,
T

I suck

Hi

I honestly do not recall the last time I cried. I greatly apologize.

That is all.

The One Where I Ranted A Tad Cos I'm Pretty Riled Up After Seeing Something On Facebook And Wanted To Vent

Hi y'all.

Exam's just ended. 7 weeks of vacation! YAY, FREEDOM! Endless hours of sitting on my bed watching tv shows! That or lying down and reading a book. Ahh, my life is just a big bubble of fun and enjoyment.

Anyway, enough about my eventful life. I have so many pet-peeves. I'll just list out some. If you've done this before, please understand that I'm not singling you out or whatever.

The sound of uninterrupted running water. Basically, it's like when people're using it, they reach for soap/dish, let's the water run while soaping their hands/dish. Like they don't even use the water in this process. Like, just turn it on again when you're done soaping, it's not that hard of a task! My goodness, this irks me so bad. I can't even pay attention so much when a romantic movie scene has some form of shower love makin' in them, or they just leave the shower and lets the water run. I'm always like, "Gosh turn it off first, before you turn it on!" Ya know what I'm sayin'? Haha. And I hate it when people in tv shows ons the faucet to dampen the sounds of their voices so they could talk and no one would over hear them? Yep. Irritating. Also, it always remind me of Ilyas. He was my lab partner. When we'd wash our equipments, he'd be annoyed whenever I turn off the faucet when he's grabbing another test tube. LOL, memories.

Now I don't preach about not wasting water since I'm an Earth girl who promotes the 3 Rs or some environment activist like that. I just hate it when people waste water. There's not enough of it and we could be drinking pee water this time in the next two years! I don't know about you, but I've tasted NEWater and I never want to ever again.

When people take credit on the works you've done. I've never really realised how much I'd hate it when I did 90% of a group project and someone takes credit for it since that never happened in secondary school. So there's this project we had last year. We stalled on it and only started doing it a few days after the submission. I did most of it. I remember not sleeping for a whole day to get it ready before submission. We got a B+ on that one. I thought it was really good considering all the 3700 of the 4000 words of it came from me and I had to relearn the bloody half of the book since I didn't pay attention in class. But they thought "It's okay, we'll just do better next time." Um. What? And then we found out we did the best in class and suddenly it was all, "Oh we're so good even for last-minute stuff!" HAH. YEAH WE ARE. Or a joke I made that they found funny and post it as a status and get plenty likes and comments and they'll be like, "cos I'm awesome." UGHHHHH. PEOPLE LIKE THAT ACTUALLY EXIST. DON'T THEY KNOW I'M GONNA SEE THAT? It's okay if it's something I got from tumblr or whatever but if it's freaking original, I'm freaking proud of it! I know, I'm really petty but whatever. I like getting recognised. Everyone loves admiration. I still have the worst self-confidence though.

When people ask inane questions to waste people's time and get participation marks. So you know poly has this 10% participation marks thing that you'll get if you contribute in class discussions and stuff. Well, people in my class freaking abuse the shit out of it. Just about anything, they'll ask. Like the stupidest fucking things people should be afraid of asking in public for fear of condemnation because that questions are the most "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING THAT" kinda things. You think I'm exaggerating? Maybe a little. But it seriously got me so riled up!

Also people who gets threatened when you said you're studying. It's like it affects them in some way. Like if I study, they'll somehow know less. It's funny. Seriously, go up to an Accountancy student from NP and tell him you're from the same course and you spent your whole night studying for a test that's coming up in a month and he'll probably shit his pants in fear of you and your intellect. Fuck's sake.

When people are always late. I don't mean 10-15 minutes late. That's fine. Shit happens, you missed the bus or train, you miscalculated the time.. Whatever, that's alright. But when you make me wait over 30 minutes for you, I'm not gonna be happy. I mean, I won't scream at you or anything, but I'll be so annoyed for the duration of time you're gone plus 5-10 more minutes after your arrival and apologies. UNLESS I have company. Then that's really alright. I get past it pretty easily though. It depends on how awesome you are or your reasons. But if that happens all the time, you have to fix something. That's not cool, man.

When people make plans with you, then they end up cancelling. Like you can't depend on their word whenever you make plans to meet up. I hate this so much cos this happens a lot. Idk. I don't really cancel when I've already said "I'll go". So most of the time I'll just say "I'll confirm later" or whatever. I try hard to stick to it if I already said I'll go. I don't know man. Probably why I really like staying home these days. I mean, going out is super fun. But the planning? Nope, no thanks. Don't wanna deal with that.

OH YEAH. Are you guys going to get work or something?

Paradise. para para paradise.

Hey guys. Yes, sorry, it's been awhile... haha.. anyway, I'm having my holidays now. it's great.

Right, as I've mentioned, I'm posting two titles today! whoopeee! :)

kk on to business.

I keep thinking of what a perfect date would be, but there's alot of combinations to that! like having a candle lit dinner on the top of a cruise with the moon, countless stars and the breeze... or going to the zoo and eating chimps.... oh wait, did I say eating chimps? nono. Ahem. Eating WITH chimps....

.....or searching for exotic sea creature on a dive in the waters of Cayman Islands.

Yes I know, these are probably pretty hard to achieve - especially now - but I still hope to do them all someday!

But I think that in all the extravagance earlier on, I guess the perfect date beyond the perfect date would be just having so much positive energy the whole day. Like, I don't mind if it suddenly rains on that cruise ship while we'r having dinner as long as we have a good time laughing it off and making the best of it. or if the chimps ate my food, or if we never got to see any fish that day.... (ok, maybe not seeing any fish would be quite a bummer. So... if something else happened like seeing turtles laying eggs or baby ones hatching, that'll cancel out the bummer...something like that. you know what I mean.)

anywayyy

I HOPE YOU GUYS CATCH MY DRIFT! :) hehe, my drift is very easy to catch. ;)

OK MOVING ON!

well, I've got a lot of pet peeves. I hate it when people sit on my blanket. I dont know. Just think its kinda gross to have some else's butt in your face when you sleep at night... lol. Heck, I don't even sit on my own blanket. heh.

Another pet peeve is that I don't like people mispelling words to make it all "cutesy". I understand if you don't normally do it and just want to be funny, but I'm talking about people who do it ALL THE TIME.

example: Heii Babe. How r eu? :> Heardd ur hving shum compani ova ur PlAcE. DAts ShO WiKid! CaN Me CArm Ova U PlaceY fer SUm FarNsxsz? ^^

Ok, maybe that was an exaggeration. but I wouldn't it be less texting on yah to just say,

Hey babe, how are you? :) Head yre hving some company over yr place. wicked. can I come over for some fun? ;)

look at how much time I saved. man. just look at it.

LOL...but I'm cool with it and all, I mean, I'll still reply you if you're into that(thank God no one here is). Just get a minor irritation inside now or then. :D

Oh, and here's a list of pet peeves you can choose from next time! hahahaha

http://www.getannoyed.com/

:D Peace!

Kids R Pets

Hello guys!
im sure all of you are on holiday mode except for me. My paper starts only TOMORROW. Since i'm taking a break from Econs now , i figured i might as well post this as a draft first.
My biggest pet peeve. HMM.
I actually Google-d what that means. I can't judge for myself what is my pet peeve. I do have one guilty pleasure. I love bullying my nieces and nephews. TEEHEE. I like to hear them laugh but sometimes i just act fierce to bully them. *I've got the power!* HAHAHA Though the fierce facade sometimes becomes real when they are being really annoying and stubborn.
But i love them all the same. When my life gets too hectic and i hardly see them, i'd realise i haven't played with them in awhile or even hear them tell me about their school life. Either when i sit down for dinner or when they're doing their homework, i'd call them over and talk to them and try to fill up the gaps.
I have nothing else to say man, econs is flooding my mind.
Econs make Emaths sound like ABC.

Kids in moderation is acceptable. Kids in high volume is abominable.

Kids R pets not food, i realise that now.

$5/hour

For the past few days, I realized that I am very organized. So exciting, I know. I worked as a photographer's assistant for the past two days, and I organized the photos and worked out numbering and things. It really excited me. I like working with numbers and having a specific folder for everything and having everything symmetrical. I almost died when I saw Ashley's super messy desktop. It took a lot to stop myself from organizing everything without his permission.

I know I don't have OCD, because it's not that type of organized. I just like having categories for everything and I have a slight obsession with symmetry.

1. I categorize EVERYTHING.

If you check out my laptop, you would see that this is true. I have a separate folder for miscellaneous things that don't fit in into anything, AND I have folders to categorize those miscellaneous items, AND I have a miscellaneous folder inside that miscellaneous folder. It drives me nuts when I see files that are not in a particular folder. I categorize the fridge. It pisses me off to see condiments where the milk is supposed to be, and ham where the dairy is supposed to be. Things should be where they are supposed to be. 

Another thing is, is that I categorize friends as well. I don't have best friends. I have close friends, good friends, classmate friends, FMS friends, CWDSS friends, church friends, internet friends, etc and if you don't belong into any of those, or if you can't fit into any of those categories, it's very hard for me to consider you as a friend. Nuts, I know.

2. Everything needs to be SYMMETRICAL.

I don't just mean with things or pictures. I mean everything. Things have to be fair. It kills me to share something with someone if it's not equal. Someone in my level has to have the same punishment as I do. I need paper to be folded perfectly equal. I NEED a ruler to draw a line in the middle of a piece of paper, not to have a straight line, but to measure the width of the paper. If I draw the line, measure it, and it's not the same, it has to be done again.

So that is all. 

Goodnight.

A roll in the sand.

Lol guys, we missed the "A Fact About My Personality" theme. I guess that's for the better. Hahaha.

Hello. I'll post this first because Grace is currently MacBookless.

I've never really been on many dates before (I've been on just one lol) but my past experience with them was pretty good. Anyway, I'm taking that this date would be when in a relationship, not before. So it's all past awkwardness, like a point where we'd both be really comfortable around each other already.

I don't want anything extravagant. I don't want the go-to movie and dinner date. I want a picnic with pizza, coke and laughter in a meadow somewhere. Not at a park where there's gonna be other people around. Preferably something overlooking the city or just a beautiful scenery.

A movie marathon at his place would be splendid as well. Or a walk on the beach at night. Or a stroll along the streets of Paris. At night. In the rain.

Just not a bloody storm though. Just a wee drizzle.

Idk. I'm just thinking out loud since I never really thought about it.

P.S. good luck for your exams Trudy. And Liza and Grace for your projects! Hope to hang out with y'all during the hols! :)

I have a gift for you... ME.

Last night when i got home, i was determined to do my work which I've procrastinated the past days and the deadlines are TODAY and FRIDAY. HOWEVER, i got distracted by this Korean drama that JC recommended us and she was playing the DVD. It's called "'A Woman's Scent". I have no idea where is the link between the story line and the title but a summary of the story is that there's a guy and girl (like DUH) who fell in love with each other ( double DUH ). The twist is that the girl has gall bladder cancer and has 6 months to live. The whole story is not how they fell in love cos' it was a short process. You could say it was like love at first sight. The drama is really about how the girl kept it a secret from everyone in attempt to be "unselfish" for not sharing her burden (the irony!) , how they maintained their relationship despite disagreements from the guy's father because he is from a rich family ( triple DUH ) and how the girl completes her bucket list with some help from the guy; thanks to his snooping skills.

RANDOM FACT: Korean actors/actress should win the award for Best Crying Artiste.
How the hell does one cry and look gorgeous at the same time?!

The ending didn't really say that she died but more of how she would continue to live her life diligently, happily and meaningfully without regrets, till THE day comes.
There were many cheesy scenes that i laughed my ass off while my mom cried her heart out. Oh, do not be mistaken, i am secretly delighted by cheesy acts as long as it's not overdone. There's not really a closely prescribed ideal date. It's not what you do but who you are with that matters. Of course surprises garner additional points. Like MAJOR addition. teehehehe. Finally at the end of the day, it is a MUST that the guy sends the girl home of course. Otherwise, it's not really considered a date. I don't know why but that's how my mindset has always been. It doesn't matter though if he fetches her from home or they met up somewhere, not so much as the ending; the goodbye. When i say this, this sign should pop up "No physical contact is required" cos' God knows some of us might be veering into another region of thoughts.

ANYWAY, just be yourself and have fun.
Happy Wednesday guys!

xoxo,
T

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings.

I never really had an ideal date idea in mind. I just knew it wasn't the movie-then-dinner thing.

Yesterday, I was reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, and Augustus brought Hazel out on a date to tell her that he's bringing her to Amsterdam. So he picked her up from her place out of nowhere wearing an orange Dutch sportsman jersey carrying orange tulips (Netherlands' national flower), with more orange (Netherlands' national colour) drinks, food, things. He took her to an open museum to sit by a Dutch exhibit. Cheesy and over the top? Yes. Romantic? Not really. Adorable? I THINK SO.

Okay, I'm not saying I want a date like that, but the idea of it? Remembering the things that I like, using that concept on our date. How adorable.

I hope you all will have a very lovely Valentines day this year.

Show me yours, I'll show you mine.

Ehem.

Hi y'all. Sorry I didn't get the time to write this yesterday. I was rushing a project as well as a tutorial that'll be checked today. I miss secondary years. You can get away with not doing your homework almost everytime.

Anyway, my childhood was pretty great. I've acquired a lot of battle marks that will forever remind me of how eventful my childhood was and how I trip and fall down almost every other day. I was a hell of an active kid. I'm only home during lunch, dinner and bedtime. Other than that, I'm out frolicking in the fields with my cousins. I've successfully made and flown my own kite before. Adrian helped me, of course, but he allowed me to take full credit.

My favourite childhood memory was probably my kindergarten graduation. We were to perform a song as a class in front of the parents and guests. Microphones were set up in front, but like not one for each of us. So we took our places and I was pretty short so I was in front. I was positioned directly in front of a microphone and I got pretty excited. When we began, I just started singing my heart out as loud as I could. Take note, it was a pretty mellow song. I even had my eyes closed. For some reason, my kindergarten year old brain didn't know I sound horrible, pure and utter disaster. So I took the laughter and applause as an encouragement and sang even louder, if that was possible. I almost died of embarrassment when my Ate Beth told me what was really up.

I don't know why that's my favourite. I've had so much memories and it's the one that stuck out. Enjoy.

P.S. the title means nothing lol

I am still a Cha-i-el-d

Hey guys! sorry for the late post. I forgot about it yesterday until I checked twitter. lol

I loved my childhood! If I could change anything during my childhood, I wouldn't change a thing! Granted there were times where I didn't feel my best, but I guess things along the way made me learn too. :) There are so many things to talk about, so many crazy things I did. I never really bothered about studying, I just did whatever I wanted. Even when my mum or teachers would nag me I wouldn't study lol. Even tuition didn't work because I never did any homework, so all that was taught that day was given back including a fee for the tuition teacher. I was like giving money away to people to talk. :) Call me a bad Asian, but hey, my childhood rocked!

One of my favourite childhood memories was in the bus with my Mum, and she was teaching me how to read when I was 7 because my english was really bad and I got myself into some english proficiency class in school and didn't like it. But I remember reading out for her in the bus, and she'll read once again, and I'll repeat it again.

Another one was when I was 9 or 10. My Best friend and I went to the top level of the school and climbed over the tall gate that lead access to the roof of the main assembly building. We would spend the whole recess there surveying the area, looking down at the students, playing detective. There wasn't much to do there though. We just loved the trill of it. Sometimes I would go there myself when I was alone, mostly to read or just to feel free.

When I was 12 I had this really epic water bomb war with my friends on the roof of the car park, as we filled the water bags with the free water that was supplied by the car park. We were throwing water everywhere! everywhereeee....

Then the cops came. LOL. Someone from a condo across us made a complaint. heh. We were scared to shit then, since we were kids and cops were all evil.

But now looking back, I feel a sense of accomplishment. Hell yeah.

That's all folks! Hope your weeks as smooth and 'lepak' (even though I have alot of project work) as mine. :)

Cheers

G

You skip rope? I skip school.

HALLO!
I'm shy to do a video post this week cos i just got my fringe cut; real short.
Dammit i hate how good haircuts come ever so rarely. It seems like most of the time you could only envision yourself with a nice haircut but when you actually try to tell it to the hairdresser it seems to translate to "cut my hair ugly please" .
Anyway back to the topic at hand. My childhood was pretty messed up. HAHA i could hardly remember much stuff really.. There's not one particular incident that i could call favorite. But i do like the fact that during my primary school days, i would attend only about 1/2 of the academic year. The first time i skipped school was in Primary 2. Every morning, my second sister would drive me to school at 6.30am and that one particular morning, i don't know what came over me but i told her i was really tired and asked if i could skip school. Next thing i know, we were home and i was back on bed. That was the start of my 'School Skipping Legend'. HAHAHA. Ever since that day, any days i would fake fever by drinking something hot and then taking my temperature or i'd wear a jacket and bundle myself up toasty and warm and then give that sick look. One time i nearly got busted cos my VP had always been suspicious and she was quite chummy with my mom but of course, i got away. *grins* Another time, i forgot that exam period was over and i didn't bring any book at all to school. My teacher had to call my mom and my brother in-law had to come to school and then my teacher asked if i wanted to stay or go home. What a stupid question right!? I'm sure it's pretty obvious that i went home. Most of the time, i'd go to my grandma's house to play with my cousins. When school was afternoon session, i'd over-play at my grandma's house and just ring over to my mom and give her the 'sick voice' saying, "mummy, i dont feel well. Can i don't go to school?" Thank God for letter writing in Primary school.
I was legendary i tell you. LEGENDARY.
I love how during those days I didn't have to worry about test, exams or even homework. Oh carefree days, where have you gone to?

I can't wait to hear about you guys' childhood times. I'm sure they're as epic as mine.

xoxo,
T

Queen of DigiLand

I have a great number of childhood memories, and they're all incredibly retarded. I was a really weird, mature child, but equally innocent.

Once, I crossed the road to buy eggs and ice cream all by myself. I was about three or four years old. What I was doing by myself then, I have no idea. I remember jaywalking, then wen I got to the store, the keeper asked me why I was alone. I can't remember what I answered. Then I jaywalked back to our house with a melting ice cream cone in hand, swinging a carton of eggs which did not fully survive the trip home. My parents saw me jaywalk from across the road, and my mom kept scolding me. I had no idea why she was so hysterical back then.

Another memory is back when I was incredibly addicted to Digimon. I watched the show on TV, and it would be the only thing I would talk about with my cousins. One day, my cousin was staying over and she told me that Mimi was real, and that she was the queen of DigiLand. Apparently, it was all real, and my cousin is one of the very few humans who could access the place. I cannot, for the life of me, understand how on earth I fell for this. My cousin was such a dick, how could she have been bestfriends with the queen of the digimons?! I initially didn't believe her, so she told me to wait for a couple of minutes and she'll ask Mimi if she could bring me into DigiLand. So I patiently waited in my room as she left to get permission from the queen. I can still remember feeling incredibly anxious. What if Mimi doesn't like me? I wouldn't be able to go see Yamato! Oh how naive I was. More than a few minutes have passed and my cousin has yet to return. I went out to search for her, in case, for some bizarre reason, she decided to lie to me about DigiLand and is hiding somewhere in the house instead. Ki searched everywhere. In every wardrobe, under every bed, behind every door, under every table, even inside and under the car, everywhere! But I couldn't find her, so I went back to my room, thinking, maybe she's still in DigiLand and Mimi needed a lot more convincing. So I waited for a few more minutes, and she came back, panting. "Hey, Mimi says she'll think about it first", she said. I just said okay.

Oh my goodness. I was such a fool. I love that memory though. I miss thinking and believing that anything and everything was possible.

But I think now, we all believe that that is not very true.

Dreams, dreams, dreams..

Hey guys. Sorry this was pretty late.

I'm currently on my bed, cuddled under thick blankets and it's pouring outside. This is the best feeling and there's no place I'd rather be, really.

If it wasn't raining, I'd love to be in a beach somewhere with a best friend, having pizza, coke and conversation. I want to spend one whole night doing just that. I've always wanted to do that. I hate having strict parents.

I don't know what else to say, actually. Hmmm. Did I mentioned I tried doing a video post despite my misgivings about it? Haha. It failed miserably. Something's really off with my mic and I was too awkward. I would've made you guys feel so uncomfortable. Haha.

Btw. Yesterday, I had this dream about this guy I know from school. I have no idea what happened in the dream and why he's the only person I remember being in that dream. The only thing I remember is that he's a vital part of it. Since that dream, I just started noticing him, just everything that he do when he's around. I can't help it and IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE. I don't even know why I randomly dreamt of him. Because I know I've never given him much thought until that dream. So lay off the "maybe you were thinking of him before you fell asleep". I just can't.. Ugh. I can't stop thinking about it and wondering what the hell happened in that dream and why he's the only one I remembered being in it when I woke up.

Anyways, I better go and figure this out before I go completely mad. Have a nice week guys!

Lellel

Rarr.

Hey guys, Im in class now, and I don't know why we're all singing to barney's theme song, "the one with the I love you, you love me". Hahahaha. Anyway, Where I would want to be now is probably my bed. I spent the whole day exercising yesterday. 4 hours of a mash of stuff for S&W and after that basketball with the guys. After that my legs didn't know what walking was anymore. But incase you guys arn't satisfied with the answer, well, too bad.

Ok just kidding. I'll say I'd like to be in Cayman islands, or Barbedos or New York where I can just dive and have fun, and relax. I'm into diving now, but I mean, not officially. I need lessons till I get a diver's license...Heh heh.. did anyone else find that funny? Diver's license! Ba dum tsssssssss....

:D

So yeah, I miss you guys, I cant live w/o, blah blah blah yada yada yada...

MEET UP SOON.

oh yeah, I CANT BELIEVE I DRAGGED MYSELF TO CLASS FOR NOTHING. ARAGAHAGAHAGAHAGAH.

:(

Peace.

I'm not just an airplane, i'm a fighter jet.

PUT YO' HANDS UP IF YOU LOVE ME! teehee


BIG THANKS TO someone-who-sleeps-alot FOR REMINDING ME! I'm sorry i didn't get to post earlier. My brain is really fuzzy today cos i only got about 3 hours of sleep today.


My topic today is;Where I want to be right now.Geez, this feels like my public speaking class. HAHA.Right now, i really want to be away from Poly and all these mounting problems plus people, and just go back to the times in CWDS where meeting you guys hasn't become such a difficulty. After watching the video, the mounting need to meet you guys just gets stronger. It felt so good just to play that video again and again and laugh my ass off while at it, remembering how much fun we had filming it and how proud we were of the product.

I really wish we could go back to the times when we didn't have to pay attention in class and how we'd turn to each other, no matter how far we were seated, and laugh at our little inside jokes whenever one was triggered. Those moments were the best and most carefree moments in my life as far as i can remember. Not just that, but also how "gangster" we were when we always "rule" the whole long green bench outside NPCC room or SC room. We used to call it the Foreigners' Bench. Haha. Remember the 'Evil Chicken Rice Gang' ? We even had a forum for it! I'm really proud that we managed to unite all the foreign loners together. We all know that loners hang out together. I'm honored to say that we officialised that statement. HAHAHA.

But of course, Sec 2 wasn't only the awesome year. I'm pretty much willing to go back to Secondary 2 and just live through the whole 'CWDS experience' again. Just to go back to being us; when we were pure and not corrupted by the evil of the world. Just to be with you guys again.

I wish travelling back in time is as easy as taking an airplane trip. Sadly, it isn't. For if it was, i'd wish to be an airplane and travel back every single time i can. But then again, being an airplane just sounds gay. i don't want to go around saying "wee,i'm an airplane" like a retard. (If you guys get where i'm heading HAHAHA) So i'm gonna be a fighter jet instead. We will all be fighter jets and NEVER give up on each other no matter how bad the situation may seem to be. "Have Faith" , "Teamwork is the key to success".

Lotsa love no matter how much doubt you have,
T.

[ Every farm starts with a little seedling, Like our friendship now; it is just growing ]
01/12/11
07:47


HELLO. I just remembered i posted this earlier on for my very first post which i got the whole theme system wrong. HAHA. Anyway, it seems a bit wasted to just delete it so i'm just gonna post it anyway. *grins* 
Hope you guys enjoy it along with the video that's really ... noob and raw.. :B


HAVE MERCY MI LADIES.

xoxo,
T

I AM A ONE TAKE WONDER

Fingers

Hi y'all.

I'm on the train ride to CCK and listening to Punk Goes Pop album 4. Oh, how much I love Fearless Records.

Anyway, onto the topic.

I don't really know what to talk about since I'm still in the process of discovering myself. (ew, cliche!)
Like there're a lot of things I don't notice about me until somebody points out.

For example, 2 people have pointed out to me - one of them is trudy - that whenever I'm nervous or worried or frustrated, I destroy stuff. Haha. Not like throw things around the room or shove items off the table or anything that dramatic. Like, I'll be chipping the paint off something, like a table, a wall or my nails. I shred paper. Stuff like that. Or if there's nothing to destroy, I'll be subconsciously drumming my fingers non stop until I or someone notice and make me stop.

Whenever I'm thinking, I always have to be doing something with my fingers. Like clicking my pen repeatedly, basically annoying people. So yeah, there's that.

Hope you guys had awesome week! And to Grace and Trudy, happy new year! :D gimme some love. And by love, I meant pineapple tarts.

See you guys tomorrow!

POKE

One random fact?

I dig my nose when no one's looking. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm serious.

HALLO.

Do you guys ever have sneezing problems?

I sneeze at the first sip of coffee. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I have no idea why but i do. Sometimes i think i'm allergic to coffee but it doesn't really give me the rashes-allergy reaction but just sneezes. But the coffee has to be REALLY STRONG. Like how my mom makes it. 

Some other times, i just think i'm weird. Weird to the point that if the sneeze feels "stuck", i'd make pointy ends from tissue paper and force myself to sneeze. Most of the time, i get addicted to the tickly feeling that i sneeze till i got myself a blocked nose. Which leads to...the earlier statement.

THE END.

xoxo,

T

Uh.

Hmm.

OK.

I've got one.

I like to sing in the shower. Yeah I know, probably all of you do as well.

But what I mean is, when I sing in the shower, I turn into a freakin' DIVA man. Like for real.

I become MARIAH CAREY.

Sometimes I sing songs that tell how awesome God is, sometimes I sing freakin' BEYONCE.

ok maybe not beyonce. that's alittle too extreme. LOL. Adele. I sing Adele.

I scream at the top of my lungs " WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! ROLLING IN THE DEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEP!!!!!" "NEVER MIND I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOUUUUU" (not really the best songs to sing when you're attached, but it's nice!) and even if I've washed soap off my body already, I still shower at the same spot -- ESPECIALLY when it comes to the chorus -- because I can't sing with water splashing on my face or on my hair, and thus, I take longer than usual in the shower (depending on the song). The other songs I sing are either very soulful lol or very self motivating .

There was one time I sang Mean by TS, and I didn't know my mum came into the room until I heard a very faint and muffled "Grace!". Immediately I realised that it was my mum and I stopped too suddenly. :( I never sing in front of my mum; I got so embarrassed. So sometimes I lock my room door and my bathroom door before I shower. ...Paranoia :[

I listen to bands that don't even exist yet.

I am competitive.

Who figured, right? I'm not particularly competitive with sports or studies or anything like that. It's more of like the little things.

Sometimes I get a bit too pretentious regarding certain things and I get really competitive when I'm having a conversation with people. I would always think that what I know is right, or my ideas are better. I know that I am extremely competitive when it comes to music. When people say that a band that I like suck, when I believe it's genuinely good, oh damn. You better have a shovel, cos I will make you dig your own grave. Or sometimes there will be people who are even more of a pretentious douchebag then I am and talk about how incredibly underground their iTunes library is, I will make sure that that person will lose sight of what "obscure"  actually means.

Those sentences made so much more sense in my head, but I think you guys know what I mean.

I'm also incredibly competitive when it comes to arguments. Some people say that I could be a lawyer, because of this. I guess it's just a pride thing, and I'm not particularly proud of it. It could be a good thing if I believe that it's right, but sometimes, it gets to a point where I know that I am wrong, but I still refuse to admit it, because I am competitive.

Humans are such weird beings.

Hey guys! Sorry about the late post! Had a couple of things going on here and there. I don't really hate anything about school... I don't even mind climbing up the hill even though I complain about it at times. Maybe I hate paperwork. Yep. Said it again. I hate paperwork. lol... and OH YES. I HATE IDEA JUMPSTART. For those who don't know what IJ is, it's a course that "teaches" creativity in really """"Creative""""" methods & activities HAHA.

Today was the last lesson of IJ btw. HELL YEAH!

other than that, yeah.

I can't say that I love NP like crazy, but I am grateful for the things they offer. OMG don't even get me started on the timely shuttle bus that comes in to save me from being late, or the fact that I can drink my apple juice at only $1.50, or that there's an ez-link top-up machine located at some canteen. But one of the things I really really love about my course and this school is that I get the privilege (more than the rest of the courses) of renting CDs & DVDs from school to listen and watch :D Yes, granted their collection doesn't show the latest blockbuster, but still! lots of awesome movies I havn't watched :)

Anyway, whoever said that poly gave more freedom than JCs, were darn right! :)

have an awesome week ahead!! I know I would! :P

G

Hallo.

I love Ngee Ann Poly. I love the School of Business and Accountancy. I'm not crazy about Accountancy but I don't hate it either. I don't like the competitiveness of most people in my course. It's like their grades is the only thing that matters. And when they ask you if you've studied and you say you haven't, they look at you like it's your ploy to make them take it easy and not look at you as a competitor while you sneak up on them with good grades. Why still ask me if you've already formed that idea in your head anyway? It's pointless. You know what I mean? Idgi. It's annoying. It doesn't really affect anyone but myself if I've been either slacking or studying hard. Like stop it, you know? I'm just trying to survive here.

So yeah, that's the only thing I don't like. That and the amount of people in every foodcourts during lunch. That can't be helped so I just hang at the atrium with some friends during lunch.

I like my school. What's not to like? Every room is air conditioned, we have subway, there's shuttle bus, awesome hang out/study places, good western food at Canteen 4, well-equipped gym that I'll probably never use, a library with a good amount of books.. I can go on and on. The only reason why I don't regret appealing is because Ngee Ann is making it worthwhile.

That's about it. Hope y'all had an amazing week!

Too cool for school.

F'yeaaaah!

I don't hate school. Who would? Cheap food, cheap thrills and cheap entertainments that I call friends. I LOVE school. I just hate what's included with it. Which is pretty much the homework,tests/exams and the teachers. Boy do i hate the teachers. Not all of them but mostly the Law ones. They. Are. CRAZY. I am not even exaggerating. All of them have crazy mood swings. It's like the Law fucked them up before spitting them out to become hell-sent teachers to make students' lives living hell. Wanna know how they're like? Well, they are creepily similar to several Harry Potter casts. You know the crazy big-eyed tea leaf reading teacher? Yeah that's one of my Legal System Methods' teacher. She has this crazy bipolar personality whereby she could be laughing out loud one moment facing the left side of the lecture theater and start shouting and scolding when she turns to the right side of the room. And remember Dolores Umbridge? YES. I have a teacher exactly like that too! She gives this wide-eyed crazy look EXACTLY like Umbridge and THAT WIDE EYED ANGRY SMILE TOO. We even have our very own Professor Snape which is really my Criminal Law teacher. His personality is absolutely identical except i doubt my teacher is as passionate and loyal as Snape..

Well, I could go on some more and describe more of this school life i'm living in but i'll save it for another time when we actually get to meet up over a cup of coffee. Until then, i hope you guys' school life has a better fairy-tale story somewhat than mine.

xoxo,

T.

What is this "school" of which you speak of?

I don't really hate school.

I hate school because

• I have to wake up in the morning
• I have to go to school even though I'm not learning anything
• I have to take so long to travel even though my place isn't particularly far from school itself
• I have to take modules that are not related to what I want to learn
• I have to conform into this thing that my teachers want me to be
• Crowded cafeteria
• I need to climb a hill to get to my block
• There are a couple of modules where I need to be in school to get work done

Besides that, school's been fine. I hope school's been fine for you too.

Goodnight.

I know I am good for something

I just haven't found it yet.

Insecurities. (Do you want a list?)

I'm awkward around new people. I hate eating alone. I find it hard to get my order right when the Starbucks barista is cute. I hate missing out. I wish I could lose a few kilos. I hate attracting attention, I much rather blend in.

How about that?

I'm not a fan of meeting new people. I just don't know how to talk to them. I'm always afraid that if you bring me to a party with people I haven't met before and you're the only one I know, I would be too shy to socialize and would follow you around like a puppy all day. And that'll be awkward for everyone. I like it when they break the ice though and be the one to initiate conversations because God knows I wouldn't. Idk. I just find that I'm really quiet around people I don't know much. I've always wished to have the confidence "high girls" have. I could join camps and school socials and have fun in them.

I hate eating alone. Period. There's not really much to say.

I can't talk properly if the barista is more than average looking. I keep messing up my order. I learnt to either ask someone to order for me and if I'm alone, survey the staff first an if the guy taking orders is cute, I just won't buy. I know it's stupid. Also: when choosing seats in the bus, I always choose to either sit alone, next to a girl, or the least attractive guy. In the order. The chances of you making an ass of yourself increases tenfolds when within a meter radius of an attractive person. Yep. I avoid them like the plague. I don't deprive myself from observing from a respectable distance. No, not stalking.

I hate missing out. This is a little bit complicated. Like I don't like being the minority not invited to an "outing". Even if I don't really want to go and I'm not really interested, it'd still be nice to get invited. I know it's stupid, but I want to be invited more than I actually want to go. This is not actually a big deal. I don't hate it, I just sorta mind.

I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT.

I hate being stared at, it's the most uncomfortable thing, unless it's warranted. Like if I'm with friends and we're causing a scene in public, that's fine. But being the center of attention, like giving a speech, receiving a price on stage, getting mentioned by the teacher.. Those kind of things? I hate them. You could say I don't like standing out. I would take plain clothes to flashy ones any day.

Hope the last point made sense. I have a lot of insecurities and I'm honest about them. Oh is that a redeeming quality? No? Okay.

WHO EDITED MY BLOGPOST. -_- nvm I know whooooo.

anyway, Im so sorry I havn't blogged. haha was out the whole day & night. just woke up not long ago :)

One of the insecurities I have is probably the fear of lonliness -- not like eating alone or shopping alone -- but knowing that you're the only one in the world who understands or identifies with you. Like how you're in a crowd and you still feel lonely, like you have no one to talk to about life with, share it with. I've felt like that before, and trust me, I don't want to feel like that ever again.

I don't like it when people that I'm close with suddenly not talk to me or communicate with me (and I mean not answering their calls or giving me attitude when I talk to them) because they have some stupid reason to give later on. I think that's just shit. It's flaky because there is no substance in it. The definition of a flaky friend doesn't mean that they don't share your moments with you, nor does it mean they don't share with you their secrets or whatever. Flaky just means lack of commitment. I mean, if we were really friends, good friends or best friends and you had a problem with me, then by all means argue and tell me you're unhappy, as much as you want to. Don't deliberatly give the cold shoulder just because you feel like it.

like any relationship to grow, both must be willing to grow together, both must be looking forward to solve the problem instead of creating a bigger hole. I've come to realise, a true friend lays down one's life for another. If you have a problem, that friend would be there for you in open arms when you need him or her to. Nobody's perfect, and I myself is learning to be a better friend too. Along the way, I realise that I don't want to live to please people, because keeping up with pleasing them is too tiring and unrewarding.

Lonely, she is missus lonely.

"An idle mind is the devil's workshop"

Loneliness has got to be one of my insecurities. I can't stand eating alone at food courts or restaurant or watch a movie alone not even shopping alone! I admire people who actually enjoys the solitude moments doing their own thing. When i am alone, my mind tend to turn on hyper-drive on the negative output end. It's like my alter-ego in my mind converses with me and would not let the physical-me win the argument, thus the negative thoughts. That is not to say that I am nuts, please, I'm sure we've seen/heard worse...right? Anyway, I don't don't spend time on my own because of that; I frequently jog on my own, study in the library alone and joy-ride on my own. I'm not sure to put it as pathetic or what but yes, that's all.
Maybe sometimes, just sometimes, that i like some quality time on my own; to sort out some private thoughts and issues but other times, if i can help it, i really would rather hang out with someone.

Just a random fact to end off insecurities ; there is no such law as molestation for the male species.

HAHAHAHA.

xoxo,
T

Hold On

I've never really thought about my insecurities. I've had a number of people come up to me and tell me, "Liza, I'm quite jealous of you. You're like, ok no offense, but you're like big-sized, but you're confident and you don't seem like you have any insecurities". I think it's true, but not true.

I know that I have insecurities, but I'm honestly not that aware of what they actually are. After thinking for awhile, I think one of my insecurities is being left behind. Not in a OMGZFOREVERALONE way, but in a losing out kind of way. Like I don't want to miss a party, because I don't like missing out on a joke. Or I don't want to miss a group meeting, because I don't want people to finalize details without being able to give my own opinion. Do you get what I mean? Yeah.

I try not to get this insecurity get the best of me, like force myself to go for all these things just because I don't want to be left behind, because I think it's really ridiculous. It doesn't make sense to keep thinking that way. It's just mentally and physically exhausting.

So that is all.

I've done nothing, but rot in my bed and throw money (that isn't even officially mine) to companies who are sadly very willing to accept them. I've gotten books, a pair of sports shoes, an oversized jumper, a Wacom Bamboo Pen tablet, and I'm still want to get my Twin Reflex Camera, flatforms and Settle The Kettle CD by 53A. Oh the material lusts for things and things.

I've been good. I hope you're all good as well.

Goodnight.

Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year!

Hi guys.

Happy New Year and stuff! :)

When I was a kid, the first thing I remembered wanting is to be a forensics agent. I didn't know what it's called but I remembered I wanted to be that. I didn't want it for long though. Being a stewardess, however, is something that I wanted for a long period of time, starting when I first visited Singapore and had my first airplane ride. They're all so nice and pretty. Yeah, well, just with the former, I already fail.

I also remembered wanting to be the guy who prints money. I figured I could do over-times and I wouldn't mind. I thought I could print all the money I want and give some to this old man who sells Sampaguitas outside the church every Sunday. My 8 year old self was quite taken with him. He had did grandfather look and he looked too frail and old to work, but he was always smiling and singing a song, I was so sad for him. I always made a point to buy some even though we don't have an altar at home to put it to. Bless my kind 8 year old heart. Also, I've always dreamt of lying down on a bed of paper money. I was so broken hearted when I learnt printing money doesn't work the way I've always imagined it to.

I already consider myself a grown-up, but I still don't know what I wanna do or what I want to be in life. So I'll just go for the cliched thing: I wanna be happy.

EWW. CORNY.

Hey guys! Happy New Year! :) This is officially the first post of 2012 :D

When I was young I had a bunch of things that I wanted to be. At first it was a teacher, coz that was probably the first job I knew (and maybe because my mum was a teacher too). Later on, I wanted to be a detective, and then I promoted myself to become a spy (I always think spies are cooler than detectives. heh. Mission Impossible > Sherlock holmes) lol. Actually one time I wanted to be a bug collector of some sort too. haha. I still didn't know what I loved and wanted to do even when I was in sec 1, then came sec 2 where I wanted to be an architect because my mum wanted to be one and I thought she'd be happy if "I lived her dream", but that didn't really last long.

In the end I wanted to be an album/book illustrator (bet you guys didn't know that!).

But you guys all know that all of that changed. :D

It is the most retarded thing I've done in my life actually, switching my medium of art from that of paper to film. I still recall the day I decided to be a film-maker. It was surreal actually. Surreal because I felt like I was the only being on the planet being introduced to a huge big secret.

I would call it a "God Moment" if there was a name for such a surreal feeling.

So in the end, I want to be a Movie director when I grow up. (and if I have a shot at MVs then why not do both.) :)

Film, to me, is just beautiful. Its a perfect combination of the things I love -- Words, Picture & Music.

:)

OKay that's it! I hope you guys have an awesome 2012! may it be the best ass-kicking year yet! :D

Cheers

G