Homemade

It's very hard for me to write a post on this week's topic, not necessarily because it's about something painful, but because I know that I should let go of things I should let go off and I've been trying that, but writing this post just is just a huge reminder. Does that make sense? I hope so.

I am holding onto something. Like I said, it's not necessarily painful memory or anything, it's actually a rather joyful memory, something that I miss a lot. That's pretty much why it's something I need to let go of.

Ahh. I don't really want to talk about it. I apologize.

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Okay. You may know about this, you may not. It doesn't matter, but I really do hope that you'd respect the fact that I really wouldn't want you to talk to me about this. Ever. As this week's theme suggests, it's something I need to let go of.

I had a friend who was very important to me, and for some reason, we now no longer talk or hang out. He was someone I could turn to if I needed someone to celebrate something with, if I needed help with something, if I needed to be cheered up because of whatever reason, and especially if I was pissed off with someone. I love this friend so much especially because he was such a great bitch, that he's able to bitch about someone who's pissed me off, from head to toe, inside out, despite having never have met the person. So much love.

We spent a lot of time together a little bit over a year ago. Shopped, lunched, Gossip Girled, everything. And now thinking back, it was weird, because we had nothing in common at all. It's a mystery we ever had anything to talk about. Anyway, I really miss him and I still sometimes find it odd that his name is no longer on my recent calls/speed dial or top of my messages list.

I think that I'm pissed at him more than anything else. "Bros for life, yo". What bullshit. I think you guys already know that I take friendships seriously, so something like this means a lot to me. Why would anyone ever lie to me about this? Sure, people change, but I don't think the change has affected how our friendship should be like at all. We've never had anything to talk about, but we still managed to talk. How is being "far apart" changing that? I don't understand.

Ahh. All this talk is sounding really gay and cheesy, but I really don't mean it like that. There's no other way to say it. Some could argue that I probably like this person and therefore miss being with him, but no, I don't think so. I've thought about it, and no. I don't like him, I like being with him, genuinely as a friend. I really haven't met anyone else like him, and I don't think I ever will.

Don't get me wrong, you guys are great! I believe that I will definitely feel the same way if I, for some unexplainable reason, lose you guys as friends, but the dynamics of the relationships are different. I can't explain it, but I really do hope you understand.

If for some bizarre reason, this blog becomes famous and you happen to stumble on this blogpost and is aware that I'm talking about you: Hey, dude. What's up. You still owe me my Christmas present.

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