Dreams, dreams, dreams..

Hey guys. Sorry this was pretty late.

I'm currently on my bed, cuddled under thick blankets and it's pouring outside. This is the best feeling and there's no place I'd rather be, really.

If it wasn't raining, I'd love to be in a beach somewhere with a best friend, having pizza, coke and conversation. I want to spend one whole night doing just that. I've always wanted to do that. I hate having strict parents.

I don't know what else to say, actually. Hmmm. Did I mentioned I tried doing a video post despite my misgivings about it? Haha. It failed miserably. Something's really off with my mic and I was too awkward. I would've made you guys feel so uncomfortable. Haha.

Btw. Yesterday, I had this dream about this guy I know from school. I have no idea what happened in the dream and why he's the only person I remember being in that dream. The only thing I remember is that he's a vital part of it. Since that dream, I just started noticing him, just everything that he do when he's around. I can't help it and IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE. I don't even know why I randomly dreamt of him. Because I know I've never given him much thought until that dream. So lay off the "maybe you were thinking of him before you fell asleep". I just can't.. Ugh. I can't stop thinking about it and wondering what the hell happened in that dream and why he's the only one I remembered being in it when I woke up.

Anyways, I better go and figure this out before I go completely mad. Have a nice week guys!

Lellel

Rarr.

Hey guys, Im in class now, and I don't know why we're all singing to barney's theme song, "the one with the I love you, you love me". Hahahaha. Anyway, Where I would want to be now is probably my bed. I spent the whole day exercising yesterday. 4 hours of a mash of stuff for S&W and after that basketball with the guys. After that my legs didn't know what walking was anymore. But incase you guys arn't satisfied with the answer, well, too bad.

Ok just kidding. I'll say I'd like to be in Cayman islands, or Barbedos or New York where I can just dive and have fun, and relax. I'm into diving now, but I mean, not officially. I need lessons till I get a diver's license...Heh heh.. did anyone else find that funny? Diver's license! Ba dum tsssssssss....

:D

So yeah, I miss you guys, I cant live w/o, blah blah blah yada yada yada...

MEET UP SOON.

oh yeah, I CANT BELIEVE I DRAGGED MYSELF TO CLASS FOR NOTHING. ARAGAHAGAHAGAHAGAH.

:(

Peace.

I'm not just an airplane, i'm a fighter jet.

PUT YO' HANDS UP IF YOU LOVE ME! teehee


BIG THANKS TO someone-who-sleeps-alot FOR REMINDING ME! I'm sorry i didn't get to post earlier. My brain is really fuzzy today cos i only got about 3 hours of sleep today.


My topic today is;Where I want to be right now.Geez, this feels like my public speaking class. HAHA.Right now, i really want to be away from Poly and all these mounting problems plus people, and just go back to the times in CWDS where meeting you guys hasn't become such a difficulty. After watching the video, the mounting need to meet you guys just gets stronger. It felt so good just to play that video again and again and laugh my ass off while at it, remembering how much fun we had filming it and how proud we were of the product.

I really wish we could go back to the times when we didn't have to pay attention in class and how we'd turn to each other, no matter how far we were seated, and laugh at our little inside jokes whenever one was triggered. Those moments were the best and most carefree moments in my life as far as i can remember. Not just that, but also how "gangster" we were when we always "rule" the whole long green bench outside NPCC room or SC room. We used to call it the Foreigners' Bench. Haha. Remember the 'Evil Chicken Rice Gang' ? We even had a forum for it! I'm really proud that we managed to unite all the foreign loners together. We all know that loners hang out together. I'm honored to say that we officialised that statement. HAHAHA.

But of course, Sec 2 wasn't only the awesome year. I'm pretty much willing to go back to Secondary 2 and just live through the whole 'CWDS experience' again. Just to go back to being us; when we were pure and not corrupted by the evil of the world. Just to be with you guys again.

I wish travelling back in time is as easy as taking an airplane trip. Sadly, it isn't. For if it was, i'd wish to be an airplane and travel back every single time i can. But then again, being an airplane just sounds gay. i don't want to go around saying "wee,i'm an airplane" like a retard. (If you guys get where i'm heading HAHAHA) So i'm gonna be a fighter jet instead. We will all be fighter jets and NEVER give up on each other no matter how bad the situation may seem to be. "Have Faith" , "Teamwork is the key to success".

Lotsa love no matter how much doubt you have,
T.

[ Every farm starts with a little seedling, Like our friendship now; it is just growing ]
01/12/11
07:47


HELLO. I just remembered i posted this earlier on for my very first post which i got the whole theme system wrong. HAHA. Anyway, it seems a bit wasted to just delete it so i'm just gonna post it anyway. *grins* 
Hope you guys enjoy it along with the video that's really ... noob and raw.. :B


HAVE MERCY MI LADIES.

xoxo,
T

I AM A ONE TAKE WONDER

Fingers

Hi y'all.

I'm on the train ride to CCK and listening to Punk Goes Pop album 4. Oh, how much I love Fearless Records.

Anyway, onto the topic.

I don't really know what to talk about since I'm still in the process of discovering myself. (ew, cliche!)
Like there're a lot of things I don't notice about me until somebody points out.

For example, 2 people have pointed out to me - one of them is trudy - that whenever I'm nervous or worried or frustrated, I destroy stuff. Haha. Not like throw things around the room or shove items off the table or anything that dramatic. Like, I'll be chipping the paint off something, like a table, a wall or my nails. I shred paper. Stuff like that. Or if there's nothing to destroy, I'll be subconsciously drumming my fingers non stop until I or someone notice and make me stop.

Whenever I'm thinking, I always have to be doing something with my fingers. Like clicking my pen repeatedly, basically annoying people. So yeah, there's that.

Hope you guys had awesome week! And to Grace and Trudy, happy new year! :D gimme some love. And by love, I meant pineapple tarts.

See you guys tomorrow!

POKE

One random fact?

I dig my nose when no one's looking. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm serious.

HALLO.

Do you guys ever have sneezing problems?

I sneeze at the first sip of coffee. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I have no idea why but i do. Sometimes i think i'm allergic to coffee but it doesn't really give me the rashes-allergy reaction but just sneezes. But the coffee has to be REALLY STRONG. Like how my mom makes it. 

Some other times, i just think i'm weird. Weird to the point that if the sneeze feels "stuck", i'd make pointy ends from tissue paper and force myself to sneeze. Most of the time, i get addicted to the tickly feeling that i sneeze till i got myself a blocked nose. Which leads to...the earlier statement.

THE END.

xoxo,

T

Uh.

Hmm.

OK.

I've got one.

I like to sing in the shower. Yeah I know, probably all of you do as well.

But what I mean is, when I sing in the shower, I turn into a freakin' DIVA man. Like for real.

I become MARIAH CAREY.

Sometimes I sing songs that tell how awesome God is, sometimes I sing freakin' BEYONCE.

ok maybe not beyonce. that's alittle too extreme. LOL. Adele. I sing Adele.

I scream at the top of my lungs " WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! ROLLING IN THE DEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEP!!!!!" "NEVER MIND I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOUUUUU" (not really the best songs to sing when you're attached, but it's nice!) and even if I've washed soap off my body already, I still shower at the same spot -- ESPECIALLY when it comes to the chorus -- because I can't sing with water splashing on my face or on my hair, and thus, I take longer than usual in the shower (depending on the song). The other songs I sing are either very soulful lol or very self motivating .

There was one time I sang Mean by TS, and I didn't know my mum came into the room until I heard a very faint and muffled "Grace!". Immediately I realised that it was my mum and I stopped too suddenly. :( I never sing in front of my mum; I got so embarrassed. So sometimes I lock my room door and my bathroom door before I shower. ...Paranoia :[

I listen to bands that don't even exist yet.

I am competitive.

Who figured, right? I'm not particularly competitive with sports or studies or anything like that. It's more of like the little things.

Sometimes I get a bit too pretentious regarding certain things and I get really competitive when I'm having a conversation with people. I would always think that what I know is right, or my ideas are better. I know that I am extremely competitive when it comes to music. When people say that a band that I like suck, when I believe it's genuinely good, oh damn. You better have a shovel, cos I will make you dig your own grave. Or sometimes there will be people who are even more of a pretentious douchebag then I am and talk about how incredibly underground their iTunes library is, I will make sure that that person will lose sight of what "obscure"  actually means.

Those sentences made so much more sense in my head, but I think you guys know what I mean.

I'm also incredibly competitive when it comes to arguments. Some people say that I could be a lawyer, because of this. I guess it's just a pride thing, and I'm not particularly proud of it. It could be a good thing if I believe that it's right, but sometimes, it gets to a point where I know that I am wrong, but I still refuse to admit it, because I am competitive.

Humans are such weird beings.

Hey guys! Sorry about the late post! Had a couple of things going on here and there. I don't really hate anything about school... I don't even mind climbing up the hill even though I complain about it at times. Maybe I hate paperwork. Yep. Said it again. I hate paperwork. lol... and OH YES. I HATE IDEA JUMPSTART. For those who don't know what IJ is, it's a course that "teaches" creativity in really """"Creative""""" methods & activities HAHA.

Today was the last lesson of IJ btw. HELL YEAH!

other than that, yeah.

I can't say that I love NP like crazy, but I am grateful for the things they offer. OMG don't even get me started on the timely shuttle bus that comes in to save me from being late, or the fact that I can drink my apple juice at only $1.50, or that there's an ez-link top-up machine located at some canteen. But one of the things I really really love about my course and this school is that I get the privilege (more than the rest of the courses) of renting CDs & DVDs from school to listen and watch :D Yes, granted their collection doesn't show the latest blockbuster, but still! lots of awesome movies I havn't watched :)

Anyway, whoever said that poly gave more freedom than JCs, were darn right! :)

have an awesome week ahead!! I know I would! :P

G

Hallo.

I love Ngee Ann Poly. I love the School of Business and Accountancy. I'm not crazy about Accountancy but I don't hate it either. I don't like the competitiveness of most people in my course. It's like their grades is the only thing that matters. And when they ask you if you've studied and you say you haven't, they look at you like it's your ploy to make them take it easy and not look at you as a competitor while you sneak up on them with good grades. Why still ask me if you've already formed that idea in your head anyway? It's pointless. You know what I mean? Idgi. It's annoying. It doesn't really affect anyone but myself if I've been either slacking or studying hard. Like stop it, you know? I'm just trying to survive here.

So yeah, that's the only thing I don't like. That and the amount of people in every foodcourts during lunch. That can't be helped so I just hang at the atrium with some friends during lunch.

I like my school. What's not to like? Every room is air conditioned, we have subway, there's shuttle bus, awesome hang out/study places, good western food at Canteen 4, well-equipped gym that I'll probably never use, a library with a good amount of books.. I can go on and on. The only reason why I don't regret appealing is because Ngee Ann is making it worthwhile.

That's about it. Hope y'all had an amazing week!

Too cool for school.

F'yeaaaah!

I don't hate school. Who would? Cheap food, cheap thrills and cheap entertainments that I call friends. I LOVE school. I just hate what's included with it. Which is pretty much the homework,tests/exams and the teachers. Boy do i hate the teachers. Not all of them but mostly the Law ones. They. Are. CRAZY. I am not even exaggerating. All of them have crazy mood swings. It's like the Law fucked them up before spitting them out to become hell-sent teachers to make students' lives living hell. Wanna know how they're like? Well, they are creepily similar to several Harry Potter casts. You know the crazy big-eyed tea leaf reading teacher? Yeah that's one of my Legal System Methods' teacher. She has this crazy bipolar personality whereby she could be laughing out loud one moment facing the left side of the lecture theater and start shouting and scolding when she turns to the right side of the room. And remember Dolores Umbridge? YES. I have a teacher exactly like that too! She gives this wide-eyed crazy look EXACTLY like Umbridge and THAT WIDE EYED ANGRY SMILE TOO. We even have our very own Professor Snape which is really my Criminal Law teacher. His personality is absolutely identical except i doubt my teacher is as passionate and loyal as Snape..

Well, I could go on some more and describe more of this school life i'm living in but i'll save it for another time when we actually get to meet up over a cup of coffee. Until then, i hope you guys' school life has a better fairy-tale story somewhat than mine.

xoxo,

T.

What is this "school" of which you speak of?

I don't really hate school.

I hate school because

• I have to wake up in the morning
• I have to go to school even though I'm not learning anything
• I have to take so long to travel even though my place isn't particularly far from school itself
• I have to take modules that are not related to what I want to learn
• I have to conform into this thing that my teachers want me to be
• Crowded cafeteria
• I need to climb a hill to get to my block
• There are a couple of modules where I need to be in school to get work done

Besides that, school's been fine. I hope school's been fine for you too.

Goodnight.

I know I am good for something

I just haven't found it yet.

Insecurities. (Do you want a list?)

I'm awkward around new people. I hate eating alone. I find it hard to get my order right when the Starbucks barista is cute. I hate missing out. I wish I could lose a few kilos. I hate attracting attention, I much rather blend in.

How about that?

I'm not a fan of meeting new people. I just don't know how to talk to them. I'm always afraid that if you bring me to a party with people I haven't met before and you're the only one I know, I would be too shy to socialize and would follow you around like a puppy all day. And that'll be awkward for everyone. I like it when they break the ice though and be the one to initiate conversations because God knows I wouldn't. Idk. I just find that I'm really quiet around people I don't know much. I've always wished to have the confidence "high girls" have. I could join camps and school socials and have fun in them.

I hate eating alone. Period. There's not really much to say.

I can't talk properly if the barista is more than average looking. I keep messing up my order. I learnt to either ask someone to order for me and if I'm alone, survey the staff first an if the guy taking orders is cute, I just won't buy. I know it's stupid. Also: when choosing seats in the bus, I always choose to either sit alone, next to a girl, or the least attractive guy. In the order. The chances of you making an ass of yourself increases tenfolds when within a meter radius of an attractive person. Yep. I avoid them like the plague. I don't deprive myself from observing from a respectable distance. No, not stalking.

I hate missing out. This is a little bit complicated. Like I don't like being the minority not invited to an "outing". Even if I don't really want to go and I'm not really interested, it'd still be nice to get invited. I know it's stupid, but I want to be invited more than I actually want to go. This is not actually a big deal. I don't hate it, I just sorta mind.

I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT.

I hate being stared at, it's the most uncomfortable thing, unless it's warranted. Like if I'm with friends and we're causing a scene in public, that's fine. But being the center of attention, like giving a speech, receiving a price on stage, getting mentioned by the teacher.. Those kind of things? I hate them. You could say I don't like standing out. I would take plain clothes to flashy ones any day.

Hope the last point made sense. I have a lot of insecurities and I'm honest about them. Oh is that a redeeming quality? No? Okay.

WHO EDITED MY BLOGPOST. -_- nvm I know whooooo.

anyway, Im so sorry I havn't blogged. haha was out the whole day & night. just woke up not long ago :)

One of the insecurities I have is probably the fear of lonliness -- not like eating alone or shopping alone -- but knowing that you're the only one in the world who understands or identifies with you. Like how you're in a crowd and you still feel lonely, like you have no one to talk to about life with, share it with. I've felt like that before, and trust me, I don't want to feel like that ever again.

I don't like it when people that I'm close with suddenly not talk to me or communicate with me (and I mean not answering their calls or giving me attitude when I talk to them) because they have some stupid reason to give later on. I think that's just shit. It's flaky because there is no substance in it. The definition of a flaky friend doesn't mean that they don't share your moments with you, nor does it mean they don't share with you their secrets or whatever. Flaky just means lack of commitment. I mean, if we were really friends, good friends or best friends and you had a problem with me, then by all means argue and tell me you're unhappy, as much as you want to. Don't deliberatly give the cold shoulder just because you feel like it.

like any relationship to grow, both must be willing to grow together, both must be looking forward to solve the problem instead of creating a bigger hole. I've come to realise, a true friend lays down one's life for another. If you have a problem, that friend would be there for you in open arms when you need him or her to. Nobody's perfect, and I myself is learning to be a better friend too. Along the way, I realise that I don't want to live to please people, because keeping up with pleasing them is too tiring and unrewarding.

Lonely, she is missus lonely.

"An idle mind is the devil's workshop"

Loneliness has got to be one of my insecurities. I can't stand eating alone at food courts or restaurant or watch a movie alone not even shopping alone! I admire people who actually enjoys the solitude moments doing their own thing. When i am alone, my mind tend to turn on hyper-drive on the negative output end. It's like my alter-ego in my mind converses with me and would not let the physical-me win the argument, thus the negative thoughts. That is not to say that I am nuts, please, I'm sure we've seen/heard worse...right? Anyway, I don't don't spend time on my own because of that; I frequently jog on my own, study in the library alone and joy-ride on my own. I'm not sure to put it as pathetic or what but yes, that's all.
Maybe sometimes, just sometimes, that i like some quality time on my own; to sort out some private thoughts and issues but other times, if i can help it, i really would rather hang out with someone.

Just a random fact to end off insecurities ; there is no such law as molestation for the male species.

HAHAHAHA.

xoxo,
T

Hold On

I've never really thought about my insecurities. I've had a number of people come up to me and tell me, "Liza, I'm quite jealous of you. You're like, ok no offense, but you're like big-sized, but you're confident and you don't seem like you have any insecurities". I think it's true, but not true.

I know that I have insecurities, but I'm honestly not that aware of what they actually are. After thinking for awhile, I think one of my insecurities is being left behind. Not in a OMGZFOREVERALONE way, but in a losing out kind of way. Like I don't want to miss a party, because I don't like missing out on a joke. Or I don't want to miss a group meeting, because I don't want people to finalize details without being able to give my own opinion. Do you get what I mean? Yeah.

I try not to get this insecurity get the best of me, like force myself to go for all these things just because I don't want to be left behind, because I think it's really ridiculous. It doesn't make sense to keep thinking that way. It's just mentally and physically exhausting.

So that is all.

I've done nothing, but rot in my bed and throw money (that isn't even officially mine) to companies who are sadly very willing to accept them. I've gotten books, a pair of sports shoes, an oversized jumper, a Wacom Bamboo Pen tablet, and I'm still want to get my Twin Reflex Camera, flatforms and Settle The Kettle CD by 53A. Oh the material lusts for things and things.

I've been good. I hope you're all good as well.

Goodnight.

Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year!

Hi guys.

Happy New Year and stuff! :)

When I was a kid, the first thing I remembered wanting is to be a forensics agent. I didn't know what it's called but I remembered I wanted to be that. I didn't want it for long though. Being a stewardess, however, is something that I wanted for a long period of time, starting when I first visited Singapore and had my first airplane ride. They're all so nice and pretty. Yeah, well, just with the former, I already fail.

I also remembered wanting to be the guy who prints money. I figured I could do over-times and I wouldn't mind. I thought I could print all the money I want and give some to this old man who sells Sampaguitas outside the church every Sunday. My 8 year old self was quite taken with him. He had did grandfather look and he looked too frail and old to work, but he was always smiling and singing a song, I was so sad for him. I always made a point to buy some even though we don't have an altar at home to put it to. Bless my kind 8 year old heart. Also, I've always dreamt of lying down on a bed of paper money. I was so broken hearted when I learnt printing money doesn't work the way I've always imagined it to.

I already consider myself a grown-up, but I still don't know what I wanna do or what I want to be in life. So I'll just go for the cliched thing: I wanna be happy.

EWW. CORNY.

Hey guys! Happy New Year! :) This is officially the first post of 2012 :D

When I was young I had a bunch of things that I wanted to be. At first it was a teacher, coz that was probably the first job I knew (and maybe because my mum was a teacher too). Later on, I wanted to be a detective, and then I promoted myself to become a spy (I always think spies are cooler than detectives. heh. Mission Impossible > Sherlock holmes) lol. Actually one time I wanted to be a bug collector of some sort too. haha. I still didn't know what I loved and wanted to do even when I was in sec 1, then came sec 2 where I wanted to be an architect because my mum wanted to be one and I thought she'd be happy if "I lived her dream", but that didn't really last long.

In the end I wanted to be an album/book illustrator (bet you guys didn't know that!).

But you guys all know that all of that changed. :D

It is the most retarded thing I've done in my life actually, switching my medium of art from that of paper to film. I still recall the day I decided to be a film-maker. It was surreal actually. Surreal because I felt like I was the only being on the planet being introduced to a huge big secret.

I would call it a "God Moment" if there was a name for such a surreal feeling.

So in the end, I want to be a Movie director when I grow up. (and if I have a shot at MVs then why not do both.) :)

Film, to me, is just beautiful. Its a perfect combination of the things I love -- Words, Picture & Music.

:)

OKay that's it! I hope you guys have an awesome 2012! may it be the best ass-kicking year yet! :D

Cheers

G